A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i fancied this guy and he gave me a bi vibe. It was all secret cause I'm not out But he ended up sleeping with my best friend who is a girl and has gone really weird lately. He don't talk to either of us since my friend told him he was bad in bed I think he could be having a breakdown because he is secretly bi or gay cause he is going really weird what do you guys think?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 March 2017):
 Taking his and your sexuality out off the equation. He is not a great person is he if he jumps between friends? My guess is he used you both.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2017): You should kick him to the curb!!! Trust me, you may not be out, but people know. Especially your besty!
If he went to bed with your best friend, regardless of gender, right after being with you? What difference does it make if he's gay or bi! If he had sex with a guy, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out.
Let me share a little wisdom here. I'm gay. I know a few things about people.
There are posers who go around telling people they are "bi-sexual;" because they don't want to admit they're gay, or they think it makes him more sexually-appealing by implicating they can go "either way." They also think heterosexuals will accept them for their switch-hitting ability; therefore, may still be accepted as straight "with a twist." (Pardon the pun.) Mostly, it's closet-case bullsh*t! Like you, maybe he's just gay and not out yet.
I question why your so-called best-friend would sleep with a guy you've slept with, or fancied? I guess I'd feel weird too, being passed-around among friends.
Maybe he was bad in bed, because he couldn't deliver. He really isn't attracted to women like he says. He may have also felt guilty about being with her, when he knew she was your best-friend.
Why didn't she refuse him? A real friend would have fended-off his advances for your sake! Or, maybe it should be the other way around?!!
Or was it just a test? Now maybe you have your answer.
Yes he's being weird for several reasons. Your best friend screws the guy you fancy. He knows she will tell that they had sex, and he's not sure of your reaction. If it didn't go well, he's exposed as a fraud; or a lousy lay with women.
It's weird that you two will sleep with the same guy! If you have no complaints, and 'you' think he's good in bed; you're both dispelling the possibility that he may be bisexual, and simply gay! he's wondering which of you will out him!
He's afraid you'll both tell others; after sharing notes and comparing your experiences.
Since you're still in the closet yourself, give him a break. Let him come out on his own terms; and keep some things to yourself. Don't be a hypocrite. I truly dislike people who kiss and tell!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 March 2017):
 What do I think?
He isn't talking to either of you because she berated his bedroom skills and he KNOWS she talks to you.
And maybe? That is a good thing.
I think I would avoid him as a bedfellow. If he isn't sure what he wants that is fine, but someone who goes through your friends sleeping with them? Not someone I'd want around honestly. A little sleazy in my book. Someone who will sleep with anything with a pulse... not really a Keeper.
Since you are not out there really isn't much for him with you, is there? Other than maybe something VERY casual.
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