A
female
age
26-29,
*adonny
writes:So I have met this guy once, it went well, he texts me straight after to say he wanted to see me again. He then had a close friend die suddenly and so we didn't talk for 3 months since he completely shut me out ( to grieve I suppose ) he then texts me the other day to say sorry he wasn't in a good place and that he 'really wants to see me again' I said fair enough we'll message and see how it goes since he did hurt me by shutting me out. Now he has ignored me for 2 days and I just don't know where I stand. Am I being paranoid? Should I just move on even though I really like him? Please help
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 September 2016):
 He barely knew you when his friend died so I can see why it was not you he turned to for comfort, my guess is that it was hard on him and that is why he did not think about dating while he was grieving.
If you want to give him a second chance then maybe it is worth getting to know him. It has only been two days and you barely know each other so please don't go in to panic mode just yet. Give him a week, if he has not texted or called then my guess is that he is not really all that interested. Let us know how you get on!
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (26 September 2016):
 I have to agree with Honeypie. It's a terrible thing that his friend has died, but as has been pointed out, if this is how he deals with grief or setback, it's quite likely to happen again.
I don't think I'd bother with this one. Just quietly block and delete.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 September 2016):
 I'd chalk this up to, NOT really all THAT into you and act accordingly.
I know a couple of other aunties/uncles suggest you give him a week, me personally? I'd just block him and be done with it. I can see that losing a good friend is something he felt he didn't want to deal with AS well as date a new person, but.. He should have told you that back then instead o an excuse later on. And now... he is doing the "poof" vanished again. Is it a pattern? Who know, but you do really want to spend more time being ignored by someone? There are SO many other available guys out there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2016): Give him a week or so before you delete and block him from contact. That is out of kindness. It's really up to you if you really think he's that interested in you.
I'd see this as a red-flag; if he totally shuts-down when facing loss or tragedy. You're very young, and it takes experience and maturity to deal with such intense situations. Before getting too emotionally involved, I do think you are entitled to a few details.
Do you know the circumstances of this sudden death, or is it something you were simply told?
It is best to dump him and let him deal with his issues. You didn't establish any real romantic connection and you apparently aren't enough on his mind to keep you informed of how he's doing, or to see how you're doing.
He's too flaky. Leave him to grieve his friend, and move on.
If he's suffering from depression or grief-stricken; he's better off seeking therapy. That's better than stringing someone along while his feelings go back and forth.
Never allow yourself to be treated like an after-thought. The respect you receive should be demanded at the very beginning. Don't try to start anything with someone in emotional-distress. Their feelings are too likely to change and fluctuate; or they'll weigh you down with their unresolved issues or baggage. At this point, he's too distracted. The timing is bad.
Consider his sincerity and transparency in offering details as to why the long break in contact. I only suggested you ask if you really need to know.
Frankly, I don't see any reason to further pursue any connection with the guy myself.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (26 September 2016):
 Give it a week. If he doesn't come back around without so much as a courtesy text, move on.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (25 September 2016):
 Why don't you put the points you have put to us to him? See what he says. See if it rings true. I admit it does sound a little fishy but if he shows real desire to want to be with you he might be worth one more chance. Maybe someone told him to act cool and that this would make you more keen. You will need to judge this carefully.
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