A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with this guy 6 weeks now but feels like we've known each other years!!He's told me he loves me and i have him and i really do but i really don't for one minute believe he loves me even though I've had a chat with him about it he still says he does and tells everyone he does, but i feel like I'm getting nothing from him. It feels like i get the cold shoulder all the time he makes no effort to come over and give me a kiss or a cuddle or even sit with me it seems to be me always going to him for those things, a few people in his family have said he seems cold with me as well without me even telling them how i feel they all say I'm to good for him but i believe he has good in him but why do u think he wont show me any affection?? Bearing in mind I've told him how i feel and how i need more from him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007): Hi,
I have the same problem with my guy. We have been together just 4 months. He says he loves me, wants to have kids with me, introduced to me to his family and has even given me a key to his house. Yet- he never holds me, kisses me or cuddle me without me initiating it. He is very a sensual and shows alot of passion in bed (the best I've ever had) but when the sex is over he just show no affection. Never says "i love you" at the spur of the moment. Neither does he hold me gently or tenderly. If he does hold me he grabs me in more sexual way rather than in a warm way.. I have spoken to him loads about this and we argue about his inability to show affection. He hates it when i start probing and asking him if he loves me. He says he feels insulted according to him he has picked me- wants to stay with me and is with me so i should simply shut up and know that he loves me whether he shows it or not. I feel so hurt its awful..
everything about us is good expect that he hates any kind of touchy feeliness.. Sometimes i think i ask too much.. i dont know..
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (23 August 2007):
 Maybe he just needs a little coaching. Affection doesn't come natural to some men. Tell him again that you'd like for him to be more affectionate because it helps you FEEL loved. You know what they say, "actions speak louder than words". Perhaps as the relationship continues, he'll be more comfortable about showing you these things. He could be inexperienced about what a woman really likes from a man. Be patient and continue to demonstrate your love by doing those things for him. Maybe he'll catch on at some point and pick up the cue. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): Sounds to me like he is either scared of going too fast, scared of rejection, not emotionally mature enough for a relationship and wants to just stay friends, or is really not that interested in you, or feels you are pressuring him in some way.
If this is unsatisfactory to you, then I would back off and see if he comes around, if not you have your answer.
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