A
female
age
41-50,
*IERIN
writes:Hi Everyone,So I am dateing this guy for almost a year now. I know he loves me and I know I love him too. I am very happy when we are together and we always have a great time. He is very friendly, loving, sensitive and nice. If I am sad he drops everything around and holds me for hours until I feel happy again, if I need him, he will come to see me .. he gets me whatever he things iits gonna make me smile ... he takes me whenver and wherevevr I want ..etcThe big guestion? We do faight a lot. Have to also say, that he is Greek and I am European Atheist ... which maight be an important part of it.We both have the same exact personalities, like the same stuff and unfortunately we are both pretty dominant. Anyway ... I am not happy w couple of things, and I would like if you guys could give me some good help here!Examples:Every time we have a lil fight .. or I dont agree with something he will send me away .. he just says " U can pack your s...t right now and leave" ... I dont understand why does he do that. I find it very stupid and its not a big show of love or is it.Sex with him is awesome ... BUT ... he can be very selfish. Every time I give him a blow job - and of course I expect that something will be after a lil break .. so we can be both happy .. he just turns the light off, lies down and says "Good night" ..than we start a fight .. cause I cant believe he just did that ... we had so many fights about this .. but he wont do anything . He will seriously go to sleep ... it always makes me feel horrible!!!!! I mean .. I love to do it for him once in a while and not expect anything, but not every time. He is in his 20s...he can do it more than once a night .. cant he?He also does stupid stuff like once on our 6months aniversary he decided to leave me alone at home and instead of going for a dinner together and celebrate he wanted to go for someones bachlor party .. I was so upset that at the end he did not go - if he would, i would leave him!! Yes it was just 6months, but for me its very important and he knows!Couple of times, I wanted to introduce him my friends from Europe (they are mostly guys ... ) and he said .. he doesnt need to know my friends .. that they are mine ... i was confused .. after that .. he said, he never said it and he would like to meet them ... I am always the one that appologizes ... cause he wont. His greek personality just wont let him do it or what ... He dosnt like me to wear anything to showy .. but he sure likes to go with his buddys to strip joint and when i didnt like it he said " I dont care about your feelings .. I am going if you like it or not. You cant stop me from hanging out with my friends" ... I wasnt really planing on stopping him from hanging out with his friends .. it was more about the place where they hang out at ... if you understand me guys. Cause if he can go these places, than i can dress up very very sexy and go party on the bar table at the local bar with all the guys from my street no ... has kinda the same effect.He tells me he loves me all the time, and I erally do know he does!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can see it in things he does, I can feel it when we are together .. I just know!! But than there are these little things, that are just confusing me and killing me in a way ... I dont really know what to do about this.PLEASE GUYS HELP ME OUT HERE! AND DONT TELL ME TO LET HIM GO, CAUSE I LOVE HIM LIKE I HAVE NEVER LOVED ANYONE IN MY SCREWED UP LIFE!THANK YOU
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): if he loves you then he wouldn't care what you are wearing and he wouldn't care if you went to a bar and danced on a table. to me it sounds like he's only using you. i maybe young, but i have had friends that had boyfriends like that and it didn't end well so please please either becareful with your feelings about him and keep them guarded. if you don't know how to get rid of him just do all the things he hates and walk out on him, or you can sit there in your place that you share with him and have a broken heart. but i say you need to get rid of him or it will get worse then a broken heart.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): I know how you feel. I have been in your shoes before.
I observed, that Men of certain ethnic backgrounds, grew up spoiled and accustomed to getting their own way. Men like that have no idea, what consideration for another person's feelings, is like. Some American men who grew up as Spoiled Brats are like that too. You know... self centered. I have heard that Greek men are one of the worst in this type of way. This has nothing to do with you personally.
I am not trying to offend you in any way, so please don't read this and think that I am. ok?
It sounds to me that he feels as though you are HIS woman, ( and you are ) he wants no one to look at you, but feels in a "Macho-Controlling-SEXIST" Way, that he IS A MAN, AND CAN DO AS HE PLEASES. What country is it that women have to wear veils and walk BEHIND their man... is it IRAQ? Well, it sounds to me that he has the same mentality.
What can you do? Well if it were me, I would try to... in a soft feminine way... to tell him that you love him, adore him... but what he is doing hurts you and yu wish he would consider your feelings more.
When you are having sex, gently put his hands where you want them. If you want to get what you want, say something like... "oh honey... I want you," then slowly take initiative to get you want.
When he yells at you, softly say " Honey, please stop it... "
Good Luck Honey...
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A
female
reader, confused.i.is  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 I think you both have problems that need resolving.
You should write down what gets on your nerves about him, and he do the same with regards you.
Sit down and go thru' the list together and try to compromise on things.
With regards you satisfying him and him turning over and going to sleep, maybe he is tired, people do not always give to receive when it comes to sex.
Men have never been renowned for being that thoughtful, he comes across as thoughtful in some ways and selfish in others. They do not see things as we do.
Relationships are give and take. You need to sit and discuss what your needs are and his and meet in the middle.
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