A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So..there is this guy i know for almost 4 years.( he has a gr for 2 years)..the thing is that we get along very well and i mean we are very good friends. we had a trip together( with some friends) and his gf wasn't there. the thing is that it was my birthday the same day. he acted very carefully because i got drunk for the first time and he carried me and stayed with me all the time just to make sure i'm ok. (i wasn't sick or sth, just too happy and dancing all the time) still..i didn't show any interest on him, he was following me everywhere and acted really nice. the next night he kissed me, i couldn't stop because i knew i liked him and i let him do it. we spent the night together, nothing happened, just kisses and hugs and handholdings. it was incredible for me..and i think for him to because i have never seen him to treat his gf like he treats me, never kisses her so passionately or showing his love. i don't get, seroiusly..he knows i like him and i told him i kind of cannot stay in the same room with him and see them together. still, after a year they are together and he flirts with me and gets really close sometimes. i'm waiting for your opinion cause i don't know what to do.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 December 2014):
 awwww....poor you. After ignoring the fact the guy already has a girlfriend you let him know you like him and yet, after a year he is STILL with his girlfriend.
Do you think there might be a message in there for you?
He isn't interested in breaking up with his girlfriend, and you need to accept that. I suggest you accept that this guy doesn't see you as girlfriend material and move on.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 December 2014):
 I think you DO know what to do, you just CHOOSE to ignore good common sense.
And that would be... STOP flirting and "crushing" on this guy. He isn't worth it. Just look at how he treats his GF... Can you imagine how SHE might feel if she knew he was hitting on you constantly and flirting his tail off? IMAGINE for 2 minutes that the guy is YOUR bf, how would you feel? Not so hot, huh? Or do you think IF he was with YOU he wouldn't DO that kind of crap?
Showing you interest doesn't mean he likes you MORE then his GF or that he respects you, kind of the opposite, he thinks you might eventually be dumb enough to put out.
Find yourself a DECENT SINGLE guy to date/flirt with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2014): He's still with his girlfriend, so he'll take advantage of your feelings. You're just a piece on the side; as long as he still has a girlfriend.
Don't let him drag you down to that level. It may seem okay, because you want him so badly. Once you're attached, then it's just sneaking around until you get caught. Then, he still may never want you over her.
Home-wreckers always learn the hard-way. You can't hang your heart on a cheater. If he cheated on her for you; he'll either cheat with her to get her back, or with someone else. You'll also be looking over your shoulder.
She'll be your enemy, looking for the first opportunity for payback!
If he was your boyfriend, how happy would you be if he was fooling around with another female?
The karma for home-wrecking is a bitch! You wrote your post because you know it's wrong. He's only interested in your lady-parts.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2014): If he wants a new relationship he should have dumped his gf first. If you really want him, fine, but he will probably do the same thing to you that he did to his gf, once he gets bored.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2014): How you *choose* to handle this situation will have a huge impact on the quality of all your future relationships.If you choose to pursue him, you will know FIRST HAND that there are women out there who pretend to be a committed man's friend all the while secretly waiting in the wings for an opportunity to pounce on the man. You will also, experience FIRST HAND how a committed man can 'love' someone and yet kiss other women and carry on an inappropriate relationship without their partner's knowledge.If you choose to act on this chemistry, you will lose your fundamental trust in future relationships. You will never trust your partners or their friends and their intentions. You will second guess their every move and you will have SUCH insecurity about the strength and fidelity of your relationships that you will drive your partners away or you will drive yourselve to insanity imagining what your partner could be doing behind your back at work functions with his colleagues. It'll probably be all in your mind.But if you and this man take this course, you will compromise not only your personal integrity but your ability to be a secure and trusting partner. After all, if you did it (and you believe you're a good person) and he did, then anyone can do it right?If you do manage to trust someone then you'll be wrecked with guilt about not being 'good enough' for them. While I haven't explicitly advised you on what to do about this man, I hope I've shown you how participating in an illict affair will affect your well being in the future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2014): Stop being a home-wrecker and cut ties with him. Would you be happy if you were in the girl's situation?
He's still with her a year later. He obviously loves her and chose her, your just something on the side for him. If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.
Do everyone a favor and stop talking to him.
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A
male
reader, Online Counsellor +, writes (30 November 2014):
 Hi,
It sounds like you really value the protectiveness he showed you when you were drunk, and from what you say, it sounds like there is a spark between you. You could talk to him the next time you get close and ask him how he sees things between you, or you could resign yourself to the fact that he is with someone, I have a feeling that the first option will be more in touch with what you need.
I wish you good luck.
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