A
female
age
51-59,
*ffliction1
writes:I need to know how to get someone out of my heart that should not be there.I have been married for 18 years. My husband is wonderful and I never imagined I would find myself feeling the way I do about another. As I have tried to analyze this I have figured it to be boredom. My husband and I have struggle for 8 years financially and as hard as one can try it strains every aspect of a relationship. Even with being aware of this I can't get my heart to listen.A couple of years ago I joined a dart league with the backing of my husband, in fact he pushed it. He had been shooting a couple of years already and knew that I would enjoy the activity and the people involved. My husband introduced me to a friend of his and told me that I would have a lot of fun with him around. I was taken by surprise because this friend was 16 years younger than my husband, but once I got to know him I knew why. This friend was my husband years earlier. He is a charmer. He would compliment me all the time and whenever he was near me I found him leaning into me and brushing up to me. This excited me.I don't know if it was the thought of a younger man (14 years)being attracted to me, or if it was just him.Last spring we crossed the line. We kissed each other and although I enjoyed it and wanted it at the time, I have had this hole in me since. We avoided each other the next couple of weeks, but then we talked about it and we agreed that it should not have happend and that it was not going to affect our friendship. Easier said than done, right. I am now shooting for another sponsor so we don't see each every week, but we see each other enough because of our group of friends. It has been akward to say the least and he doesn't say the things he used to. I miss him completely. Even though we have never said to the other our feelings, I can't help be feel that they are there. One night we were out and he stayed away the whole time. I tried to enjoy myself, but I must not have done a good job because before he left for the night he came over and told me to look into his eyes. Of course I did and he said, "You know I love you," and gave me the most awewome smile. There maybe some of you that won't believe that I love my husband very much, but I do and so does his friend and that is why it won't go any further, but I just need to know how to forget because loving 2 men is too exhausting.
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female
reader, Affliction1 +, writes (9 July 2010):
Affliction1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your replies. I am updating my situation. I have gotten past my crush. I am however struggling with my husband. As I said I do love him, but I feel that he is not attracted to me. He refuses my advances, but yet I find Adult movies taped on the DVR. I have tried talking to him about this, but it doesn't change. If anyone has any advise on this one, please let me know.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): Instead of focusing on this other man you need to start focusing and prioritising your hb. If you want to have an affair then before you move into deeper shit divorce your hb so that he can move on to someone else. From what you say he seems like an amazing man so any woman will snap him up in an instant. If you play with fire expect to get burn – and this will destroy your home (hb and kids and don’t forget the friends as well). time to get a reality check – cut off all contact with this other man, stop looking for him, stop seeking him out. Leave him alone. He is your hb’s friend after all. This affair will destroy everyone so please just STOP IT before it is too late. You are already in your 40’s, if you continue in this manner you will be soon in your 50’s and divorced and you will be spending your mature years with no hb, no kids and certainly no lover. Time to choose what you want. You cannot have both so choose wisely and then stick to this choice you make. don't be a fool to destroy your life just because that little itch bet your legs wants to be scratched. think about what you are doing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): as a woman who has had crushes on my hubby's friends before, my advice is very simple:1. Cut all contact with him2. Time will heal the void.Do you remember when you were younger and you would have a crush on a guy, think about him all the time etc. Then one day you break up and you can't imagine your life without him. But lo and behold, 3 months later you can't imagine why you liked him? Let's say you decided to do this thing and go for it: it will destroy their friendship and possibly of others in the group, it will destroy your marriage, the children etc. Try spicing up your marriage instead: maybe get a sexy teddy or body stocking and wear it for your husband to rekindle things. As much as he doesnt do special stuff for you any more, do you do special stuff for him? So take the initiative and start something! Forget cutie pie, he ain't nuthin' but trouble.
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