A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am currently in a new relationship with the guy I have been interested in for quite some time. We have been friends for almost a year now but have been dating for only two months. Things are going great apart from a possible sexual tension. We live miles apart and because I work, the time we meet up varies. We keep in touch but miss each other lots. When we do meet up, however, we are undoubtedly super happy, but he is always keen to go to bed and pleasure me, and touch me up whenever we just have a polite hug or kiss, or when I change outfits. It's not full on sex though as he is Christian, and it would be against his beliefs, but it turns him on when I climax. Unfortunately, I don't have a high sex drive so don't want it all the time, especially not when he wants. We have, however, had several truly pleasurable moments, but another issue is that he doesn't show his body but is keen on me to take my clothes off. As a result, I sometimes feel used, unfair and a little uncomfortable, which can make it take longer for me to come. I have sort of brought it up with him, but get no proper answer. Am I correct to feel bad for showing my body but not seeing his? Is it normal for a guy who is in love with you to always touch you up during a hug/kiss moment or want sex (usually when he wants)? Please help, thankyou.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011):
Maybe he is shy or insecure. I know I feel that way. As for your question:
"Is it normal for a guy who is in love with you to always touch you up during a hug/kiss moment or want sex (usually when he wants)?"
VERY normal!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): I don't think it's fair that he won't show you his body but expects to see yours. Explain how you feel once again to him and make sure he understands. Ask him why he's not willing to let you see his body. Perhaps it has something to do with his religious beliefs.
If you're feeling used, you might be being used. And it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship anyway, since he's not willing to "even the playing field," so to speak. After you've talked to him to try to figure out what's going on, do your best to find a solution.
If he still refuses, you have to decide if you're willing to let this continue.
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