A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Married for 19 years, love my husband with all my heart but can't seem to continue to deal with him always being in a bad mood. He never seems happy. He says it's all due to finances but we both make good salaries. He is constantly talking about money. I often feel he thinks he is the only one that pays bills. We have two beautiful children both in private school. I feel really bad that my children see him like this all the time. I came from a single family home and have dealt with all of this so my children could be raced with both parents. It's really taken a toll on me. We've tried marriage counseling in the past helped a little, but don't think he will be receptive again. Feel like he has lost all respect for; he puts me down in front of my children. Not sure what to do any more!
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male
reader, caterpillarchapstick +, writes (25 February 2010):
confront him about insulting you. sounds exactly like my family growing up. my dad ended up having an affair with a woman and divorcing my mom after 20 years. as a result my brother turned into a heroin addict and i have some emotional problems as well but i am a happy person. my mom pulled through and is happier now than my father, who married the woman he cheated with. he always was a worrying, deppressive, close-minded, rude person with a lots of insecurities. my mom is the opposite and really an inspiration to me and many others. after the divorce she realised that he had been pulling her down. don't ever let anyone pull you down. life is too short. confront him with confidence and strength. get him to open up with honesty. don't be afraid of the result.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 February 2010):
 Find some interesting things that you like to do...Life is short.You only live once.
What are the things you like to do , see ,eat or watch?
We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm, and adventure.
There is no end to the adventures we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (25 February 2010):
 Your age is wrong. You've outlined what the problem is.. he sounds very worried about money. Now you may think you both earn enough and everything is fine, but he maybe under pressure at work and worried that he may become unemployed. Whatever the reason, (maybe his family brought him up to worry about money this way)your guy sounds totally stressed out about the money situation.
I don't know how often you've tried this in 19years, but maybe it's about time you sat down together and drew up some type of budget. Forget about the fact that your income brings in loads, instead just concentrate what you could do without and what needs to go. This way, he'll feel listened to, he see that your trying to understand and you'll willing to work with him to decrease the financial load. You'll be able to put money in the bank, and he can stop stressing out so much...
Now the funny thing is, most of the emphasis in your post was around money. The fact that he puts you down was left until last as if it dosen't matter at all. You went marriage counselling with him, why did you do that, what did you both learn. Some of the discoveries about each other you made back then will surely help you now.
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