A
female
age
30-35,
*rh_shefield
writes:So, I've been working with this guy for about two years, and I'm pretty much in love with him and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual. He's an amazing friend and we flirt shamelessly and pretty much everyone knows. However, the issue is that he has a problem with my age, as I am 17 and he is 20. I don't really have a problem with the age gap, and neither do most of the people I know. But I think that we are not together because the age difference makes him uncomfortable. I understand that we are in different places in our lives, but he is seriously one of the only people that is always there for me and can make me happy no matter what the circumstance. I imagine that there is not a lot I can do in this case, but I was just wondering if anyone can give me some advice to maybe turn this situation around. Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): I AM EXPERIENCING THE SAME PROBLEM. I AM 17 AND MY BF IS 20 AND WE WORK THE SAME PLACE AND KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR ALMOST A YEAR.EVERYONE AT WORK KNOWS ABOUT US AND HE DID ADMIT TO ME THAT IT WAS BUGGING HIM ABOUT OUR AGE DIFFRERENCE. I CAN SERIOUSLY SAY THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND IS LOOKING OUT FOR YOU AND HIMSELF BECAUSE WHAT IF SOMETHING WAS TO HAPPEN, HE CAN BE IN SERIOUS PROBLEMS BECAUSE YOU AINT 18 YET AND SEEM GOES FOR ME.THE BEST THING IS NOT TO RUSH INTO INTIMACY AND BE OPEN-MINDED BECAUSE HEY MOST GUYS WOULDNT HAVE CARED.THEY WOULD HAVE DONE DAMAGE THEN LEAVE ATLEAST HE IS CARING. BEST TO YOU
A
female
reader, srh_shefield +, writes (21 June 2007):
srh_shefield is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, technically, in the state we are in, the age of consent is 16, and either way, I'm pretty sure the age gap has to be over four years in order for it to be considered illegal. But it is entirely possible that he doesn't know that, so your answer might still be valid
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A
female
reader, kimslvr  +, writes (20 June 2007):
The thing is with some men they worry that at your age you will wwant to go out clubbin and meet a guy your age, even though there is only 3 yrs difference to some people thats a lot, make him realise that you only want him, tell him this quite often, ask him what he likes to do, even if you find it boring, go along with it, for a while, just to get him use to the idea your gonna be around for a long time. hope it help
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A
female
reader, amers344  +, writes (20 June 2007):
If as you said you can talk to him about problems why not have a chat to him to see how he feels about it?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): I suspect it has more to do with the fact that you are under the legal age of 18 rather than the mere 3 year gap. In fact, laws being what they are, he could actually get into serious legal trouble for seeing you, and having sex with you since you are still considered a "minor" in the eyes of the law. Even though you or your parents might never consider bringing this against him, he may be protecting himself until you turn 18.
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