A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, It's been a while since I posted something, but I really need your advice. The relationship I'm in is an utter headache. We're together without the "title". We kiss, we fool around, we belong to each other--meaning we don't date anyone else. This might sound stupid, but it worked. He's liked me since 9th grade, but I knew from the beginning he wasn't the one I wanted to give my heart to, and to this day I wish I hadn't given in to the "give him a chance" ordeal. But after high school and then some time after that we got together. We both went into this 'relationship', this complicated relationship, with him knowing that I didn't want a serious relationship, that I was confused. He agreed, and his words were, "It's ok. Let's just continuing being the way we are." So we did. He was the first guy I went down on, and visa versa. We got close, but never had vaginal intercourse. It was fun, and I grew to like him a lot. But he joined the army and he went away for five months. It was hard to let him go, but I did, I adapted. Recently, He came back for only 2 weeks. He waited two days to tell me he was in America, in his home, and he said, "I had a lot of things on my mind." But I just thought, what is one text message. I felt hurt that he would wait two full days. I mean shouldn't I been one of the first he called????Anyways, The first time we saw each other was amazing. We made out, and I gave him a hand job, but I knew he wanted more, and I could blame him. But still I didn't do anything, it didn't feel right. He bought me a $165 pendant that I didn't ask for, he still bought it for me, said I deserved it. He asked me if I wanted to come to this bonfire on saturday night and then after spend the night in his house. I said I would go to the bonfire, but not sure if I would spend the night. Well, he never returned my texts or calls on Saturday. When he finally decided to call me he said I never gave him a straight answer and he went without me. I was so hurt that he wouldn't even inquire about my decision. My friend said if he wasn't getting any that night that he didn't want to be around me... but I don't know. He made up for it, and said sorry and that he loved me and whatnot. We made plans to see each other for break-feast on sunday. Sunday came and he never returned my calls or texts. I called him twice. The first time the phone rang till voice mail, the second time the phone rang twice and went to voice mail. He didn't call until seven forty pm. But around seven pm I went crazy. I ADMIT IT. I was very worried, agitated, and annoyed that he wasn't responding back to me, but at seven I lost it. I needed to know if he was ok. So I went online and searched for his house number. At the bonfire he was getting drunk and god knows what could've happened. BUT He called me and said "His phone wasn't working until he plugged it in." Well I spilled the beans about how I was feeling, even the part about looking up his number. And I don't truly know if I agree with him on the phone part. He said that it freaked him out, like "horror film creepy"... I was sooooooo HURT you couldn't even understand. HE KNOWS ME... why would he even say that?? SO I said, "Fine next time I wont care."I was just soooo worried. I was a wreck. BUT he also said that it didn't matter and that he still loved me. But you guys, why?????? Why is he so different. He would've done anything possible to get in contact with me--hello FACEBOOK!! I called him today he wont answer. IDK I'm so lost, and hurt. Please give me your advice. And thank you for reading this very long entry.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 May 2010):
 I think you are not on his priority list. You are like 'expendable .' You can come or go out in his life and it would not matter to him. You are only useful when he needs you .
Perhaps he was disappointed when you told him that you would not spend the night with him . He could have fantasize about making it a horny night. Sex could be on his mind .
He is laid back and have no urgency about you . He is a sweet talker only .
A
female
reader, Pt88  +, writes (18 May 2010):
 Honestly hun, what I get from this is that he's got other things on his mind, other than you...and what I mean is, he's got sex on the brain, and he's playing games to get it. You deserve better than that. My advice....don't give him the time of day. There's someone better for you out there, in every sense of the word.
I know it's hard to walk away...but whats a little bit of hurt from him for a lifetime of happiness with someone else?
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A
female
reader, Lakisha +, writes (18 May 2010):
 I had that same I was with this guy for 4 years every since I was 20 he played games the same would never call or pick up his phone on weekend so when I confronted him about it he started called but he would always stay busy and like he would call me everyday to talk to me but it never went anywhere I mean I grew feelings for him and to this day I have we never had a title for eachother but don't wait on him cause your just gettin lead on I did the same thing and now I 25 goin on 26 and haven't heard from him again I know how to get in touch wit him but why bother.
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