A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am having a problem with my sex life. I'm in a long distance relationship with a man I adore. I've been with him almost a year now and he means the world to me. We see each other half a year, I'm at Uni. The problem is when we are together I want to have sex with him a lot because I feel we have to make the most of our time together, I have a high sex drive and I think it's important in a relationship. It makes me feel closer to him. We're very affectionate most of the time. But he doesn't want sex as much as me. I would hapily have sex once a day or every other day, but he seems happy to go days without it and it seems to be getting worse. I get upset about this because he rarely initiates sex so I feel like he doesn't desire me and I feel less sexy when I have to persuade him to have sex with me. Also when I try to get him in the mood he gets angry sometimes because he's tired and I feel bad for wanting to have sex, I feel like a pest. I really care about him and I don't want to upset him. I understand that he works really hard and needs sleep but I am really sad that he doesn't seem that into me sexually.I think it is because I never come when I have sex, I never have with anyone, he understands this. But I still enjoy sex, and I really want to work on it so that one day I will have an orgasm with him. I think he feels that he's failed by not giving me an orgasm and that puts him off wanting sex. He thinks that he's disappointing me. I know that with more foreplay and trying different things I will orgasm one day. But most of the time he penetrates me after little foreplay. I don't know how to ask him for more foreplay without upsetting him. I feel I've dentend his sexual ego without meaning to and don't want to do any more damage but I'm worried things will get worse. He thinks I'll be really hard to make orgasm because I don't feel much from oral sex. I think he doesn't know what will work and now is maybe afraid to disappoint me. Sometimes I get really close to orgasm but then the feeling just goes and then he feels like he's failed, when it's not his fault. A good sex life is very important to me. I want to try many things. But he seems to be less and less interested in having sex with me because I am so hard to please :( I adore this guy so much. I don't know what to do to improve things. Help!
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foreplay, in the mood, long distance, oral sex, orgasm, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Steve.
I dont think its that he cant be bothered, but that hes given up almost. Thanks for your advise. I'll have to try a new approach n 40s is not old btw lol!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answer. Just to clarify. Yes I do masturbate and I have in front of him and sometimes after we have sex. But I never have through any other way. Also another thing, he is 16 years older than me so he understands that young women take a while to get there n he is experienced. It's just he seems to be losing interest in having sex with me and I'm trying to work out why n what to do about it, because I adore him. Myabe I'm just being too demanding and expecting too much. I'd just love to spend more time having sex, trying new things, because I have a high sex drive, I find him unbelievably attractive and I really like sex. It's just he's not as interested as me. He jokes that it's because he's old now(he's just turned 40) n thats why he doesn't want it as much. But I'm worried its because of me.
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