A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I dont quite understand what went on here. There was bascially a guy that seemed to like me, i was shy and wasnt ure how to respond and then when stuf started to become ALOT more ovious that he like me and the prolems started with other people as they dont even seem to like us being friends so it was made very hard for us to even be friends and therefore we hardly spoke to each other and if we did even outside of college i was the one that had to start the conversation and even then he didnt say much. I nver knew why and i suppose i never will. But something happened thats really doing my head in and i cant actually ask her about this so could you give me your opinion on this please?Well one of his friends added me (she was from our college but left the year before i started). From what happened and everything she couldnt have known me from anyone else, since she never really spoke to them and they wouldnt just tell her about me for her to add me. And things got weird. It was clearly obvious this guy i like had told her who i was, in our first conversation she asked me if there was anyone i liked and i said not really because i wasnt prepared to give it away incase it caused problems. Shortly after she suggested meeting up with me an also suggested maybe this guy could come along to. it was all getting to obvious for words and ten she asked if her bf could come along as well but they wouldnt be able to stay long, in otherwords she would be leaving me and this guy alone... A Mate of mine who also knew her spoke to her(i asked him if she knew me through him and he said no he had no idea about it all, and it was the truth) he jokingly said to her "your not trying to get them two together are you" She said yea. Anyway we never met up, we couldnt get hold of this guy(the one i like) so we re arranged it and shortly later this mate of mine spoke to her again and she said that she wanted to get me and this guy i liked together and that she wanted to make us happy but wasnt sure if she should get involved in it. Times past and we never did meet up all together im not sure why but i odnt understand what was going on. What did this guy tell her about me, she didnt even know me before but for some reason he obvously told her about me, yet he doesnt make the effort to talk to me on msn or if we meet up its because i ask him. I just wanna know wat could have gone off or have happened, she seemed to have the idea of getting us together so what could he have told her? But if he did tell her he liked me and wnated to be with me why doesnt he make any effort to do owt with me and how come we never met up. Please coul you just give me a helping hand towards this, i cant actually speak to them about it because im sure uve been my age and you now whats its like when someone tells you something and you wont tell the truth to anyone else if theyve asked you not to say anything. My heads so messed up, hes got a busy life and ive got my life and i miss him so much, i dont see him alot anyway because well im shy about appraoching him and well.....just please help me i miss him so much its killing me!
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female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (7 October 2009):
This post was hard to read. The poor grammar and spelling aside, your details are jumbled and it is very possible that you've left me too confused to be helpful. No judgements meant here; sometimes emotions can do that. That said I will help as much as I can.
Sometimes girls just get it in their heads that they want to play matchmaker. There are those who misread things and involve themselves into a situation they shouldn’t be involved in.
This guy could have said ANYTHING that put you on her radar. He COULD have said he isn't sure but thinks YOU like HIM. He could have said you and he both like the same band or activity. She may have decided that he needs a girlfriend, and decided to make getting you two together a project without any encouragement from him.
He could also have said he thought he might like you, but then met someone else and changed his mind or he liked you but felt awkward having someone else set you two up. Now he may feel more awkward about you because she told your mutual friend he liked you.
Maybe he said NOTHING about you and it was someone else who said something…
Sometimes in life there are little mysteries which will never be solved. Trying to wrap our heads around them just wastes valuable time and energy, without actually giving fruit. This is one of those things.
It is not important (although admittedly curious) why she decided to instigate this potential meeting. What IS important is he doesn't appear to want to get involved with you at this time.
You'd do yourself a favour if you use discipline with yourself to put it out of your head and keep it out. Move on with your busy life and someone else will come along eventually. If I were you, I wouldn’t instigate the first contact again, but that’s me.
Good luck.
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