A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so today me and my boyfriend got to third base. It was clear what his intentions were after a while, and I didn't really mind, I guess....Only problem is, I couldn't...You know...and he seemed pretty dissapointed, even though he got me real close....Does this happen sometimes? I was really nervous at the time, and self-conscious , too... (I'd only ever kissed once or twice before I met him) Do you think that has anything to do with it? And what should I do/say so he doesn't think he's a bad boyfriend?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe didn't pressure me or anything, I just some self-esteem issues, and I'm the type of girl who gets embarrased easily.
I just feel bad since he's so good to me, and it seemed to kind of hurt his pride that he couldn't bring me to that point.... I dont want him to think he's not good at that kinda stuff, since I'd probably be upset if we were married and I couldn't please him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2011): imho you just arent ready. You arent comfortable enough to loosen up enough to orgasm. You guys just need to take it a lil slower until youre totally ready
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh, I like that, practicing will make it more fun! Thank you!I never knew much about the female orgasm, but I do know it felt good, so even if I'm not able to, hopefully he'll still want to do stuff with me, and feel confident that I enjoy it. I dont want him questioning his manliness or anything! He's my manly man :)
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 October 2011):
 Ok after reading the update well then my answer is no good to you at all. Well you know what a lot of girls don't orgasm through penetration. Believe it or not. I guess you just need to be honest with him and tell him it has nothing to do with him what so ever it is just that you are still exploring your own body and figuring out what you like and don't like. You are new to this so I guess it just takes some time. Tell him it will just make the practising more fun.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for taking the time to answer my question, even if my question was unclear. It actually helps in the realm of other things I can do with my bf, that I'm nervous about doing someday
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (16 October 2011):
I'll tell you exactly what it is. You are just not ready to move to that next step. Your body or your mind is just not ready. These things take time believe me and you should never feel rushed in to it or be made feel guilty. You should only ever do something if you are comfortable with it believe me. Ok so yes your boyfriend might have been a bit disappointed but just explain to him that you are not ready to go any further at the moment, if he respects you well then he will totally understand and wait for you, and if he doesn't well then believe me he is not worth it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2011): Him not pressuring you or respecting your decision means he's a bad boyfriend. He also shouldn't make you feel guilty because you're not ready. Good job telling him to stop and you weren't ready. You don't want to do something that important when you're not 150% ready. Not being comfortable is a sign that it's not the right time, and there's nothing wrong with you just because he was ready and you weren't. Guys are ready all the time, they're meant to be, girls aren't that way. Taking your time and only doing that when you're ready shows a lot of strength and intelligence. My first real boyfriend (first love) told me that I needed to be ready soon when I told him I wasn't. I wanted to wait for marriage and he told me all these things to get me to give in before I was ready. He told me we would get married, so I should just give in to him now. He told me I didn't love him enough if I wouldn't do that with him, and even said there was something wrong with me for not wanting to do it. Well, I did want to do it, just not with him... he pressured me and I regret it. It wasn't special, it wasn't great and we aren't married. Now, I've grown up and have become stronger and have a great sexual life with my current boyfriend. I actually told him that I was ready and he made me wait because it was too soon (it was). You need a boyfriend who will not make you think you're wrong for doing something. And please believe me, if your guy is pressuring you, he's not good enough for you to give yourself away to. He may be great, but there are better guys out there. Believe me, I was single for a few months after my first boyfriend and thought I wouldn't ever find anyone else, but I did... actually a few good guys, then I choose which one I liked the most, and was nice to me. It'll all work out, Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMod Note: title since changed to reflect OP requirements.I guess I worded it wrong... I didnt chose the title.... Couldn't think of one.... I did say yes but I couldn't you know... Orgasm x.x
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