A
female
age
41-50,
*atwoman7558
writes:I have a query, let me set the scene for you all....When I was 16 or so I used to go out with a guy, I lost my virginity with him and we have always remained friends. We had not spoken for a couple of years and he got in touch with me recently. He is God Father to my son. He said he was sorry for not being in touch and that he wanted to stay in contact and be a more active God father which was fine with me. Some flirty texting happened and he came round to my flat one evening....One thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together which was just like old times(Very good times.) After that we met up and introduced our kids and they got on well everything seemed to be going well. (Although I must stress neither of us is looking for a relationship at present as I got out of an extremely abusive relationship and he has just gotten out of the same sort of thing) When he stayed at mine he was saying things like "Why didnt we get married and have kids together" "We should never lose touch" "Your amazing" etc etc. We continued to talk on the phone and text etc until this week when he has just completely started ignoring me. He wont answer my texts or emails and I dont know what I am supposed to have done. We have known each other for almost 15 years and I feel now like I have been taken for a complete mug by someone that I thought I knew. I do not know what to think. I certainly do not think I have done anything to upset him so why has he started treating me this way? Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): He is probably confused as to what you want and to save himself the hurt he is ignoring you.
He could have deep feelings for you, but as you said you both got out of abusive relationships so he could be afraid of getting close to somebody again and starting a new relationship.
I think you should ask him what is up with him, and tell him how you feel. Explain why you do not want a relationship, or agree to take it slowly and see what happens. Depending on what it is you really want and what he really wants.
Good Luck,x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011): It's hard to say why he has stopped contact, but he has done this before for two years, even though he is the godfather of your child, so he is clearly NOT a reliable person and he probably never will be. I wouldn't pursue a relationship with him. You might want to go to his home or where he hangs out and speak with him about why he is not responding to you, unless you think something has happened to him, in which case you should contact a neighbor or family member of his. Either do this or you can wait until he does contact you again and tell him you're not ok with being ignored like that. It could be that he felt he needed a little space after you two reconnected, but he should tell you this instead of not responding to you. I would guess he is involved with someone else.
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