A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:About a 2 months ago I cheated on my girlfriend. I then broke up with her but didn't tell her why. We had been together for about a year and a half. I can't stop thinking about two things: 1. How much I love this girl and want her to be my wife 2. How could I do this to her?. I never in my life thought I would be the guy to do this but I got very drunk and slept with this gutter slut. She will never find out if I don't tell her but I'm constantly feeling an insane amount of guilt. At the moment she says she needs time to decide if she wants me back, I know she's already sleeping with another guy. Is all this punishment enough or do I need to tell her?
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (9 October 2011):
 Hi,
Instead of being agonized by this guilt, why don't you just have a honest talk with your girlfriend, and see if you both can give this relationship a second chance?
You made a huge mistake, happened once, it's very regretful, knows now that you truly love your ex-girlfriend, so why don't you just talk to her, before it's too late. You mentioned she's seeing someone else already? You have to do this soon, before she gets really involved with this new man.
I guess, since she's already having sexual relationship with this new man, you are both even. I know the difference is that you cheated, she did not.. I guess this is the perfect time to start all over, with a new fresh start.
You need to tell her the truth, be honest, calm, and tell her that you truly love her, and that you want her in your life. I know you are in pain, but what do you have to loose? You have to do something about it, otherwise you will regret for the rest of your life, and always wonder...
I truly hope she can forgive you, and start new. I hope you both stay together, and have a healthy, happy, honest relationship.
Good luck/best wishes
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 October 2011):
 If am honest with you, for your own sake I think you need to tell her. I am not telling you this to further punish you but at the end of the day it will help you. If you get back together and you don't tell her the guilt will always be there on your side and it will eat you up inside and slowly destroy you. You need to be honest with her, tell her you love her that you cannot see a future without her, explain what happened with this other girl and explain that was the reason you ended it. Beg for her forgiveness. Am not saying she will welcome you straight back with open arms. Because it does take time to rebuild trust again, that's if she is prepared to forgive you. But believe me in the long run, honesty is the best policy and it will be a huge weight of your shoulders as well when the truth finally comes out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): let her go and find someone who will treat her properly. you cant have it all, you decided you wanted another girl when you had one and now you lost the better thing, all you can do is learn from this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): but do you deserve her anymore? not really.
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