A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So, i started seeing thia guy i work with. we went on a couple dates, all three of which i had to ask for, but he was more than willing to comply. then there were a few nights of just hanging out (again, i initiated, but there really wasnt any hesitation from him) then one night we got really into things, and the night was very intense. he told me he could "see himself in a relationship with me for the long run." he continuted to flirt and be friendly, but we havent hung out much since then, and i havent really been given much to go on. i stopped askng him to hang out for a couple weeks,backed off quite a bit. thought he might be looking for some space after all the intensity, but now he doesnt talk to me as much, and while he still seems to be flirting a little at work he doesnt seem to be receiving my text messages(there have only been a few)... keep in mind that he is a very shy kind of guy. he never said any kind of clear "i dont want to talk hang out with you anymore" but how am i supposed to take the screeching halt that everything came to?heh, how much can be put on overdrawn eyecontact and a smile? sorry guys, thats alot, buti figured the majority of the story was sort of necessary.
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female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (21 July 2009):
 When you say 'the night was very intense', are you talking about sexually? If so, then chances are this guy got what he wanted as much as he wanted and he really has no reason to continue seeing you. Even if there were no sexual activities going on, he can say all the sweet things he wants, but his actions are what will tell you what he really wants. You said you texted since the last time you two hung out and he hasn't answered back. That's enough to tell you exactly what he wants right now. Not you at the moment. I mean this isn't a bad thing, because you guys didn't get too serious or anything like that. It's just been a few dates. I would just give him his space and stop attempting to contact him. You can be nice at work and everything. In fact act as though him not talking to you doesn't bother you at all. And if you feel daring enough, maybe talk about some "date" you went on with another guy. The fact of the matter is, if he wants to hang out with you more, he'll definitely let you know. Constantly making the effort isn't worth the time, because he won't see a reason to put in any of his own time.
Relax and let go! Find some new guys to see. And who knows? Maybe he'll see you aren't waiting around for him and start to put in the time to get to know you. Good luck!
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