A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am dating a guy who said, There is nothing a woman can offer me, because I have everything I need so she would have to be the "WHOLE PACKAGE" I am not sure how to take this. Part of me thinks this is a great thing because he is confident and he wants a good woman and the other part of me says that he will never be satisfied. Any advice on this subject would help. Thanks! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2007): I agree, Mitch when you say self-love is important. It is crucial to have but it doesn't mean when we date a person one should say such an uncaring thing to her. Self-love means respecting ourselves and respecting others, and never saying such an unthinking thing to one's dating partner. When you love yourself, you will feel good about yourself, and you will feel better about the world. This will make it easier for you to give love to others. The person who feels self-love is generally happier and much more pleasant to be around than the person who lacks self-love and self-esteem. This guy was not pleasant...I really feel he made this comment intended to hurt. So, what this guy said to his gf was not self-love...it was selfishness and self-centeredness. So, on that point, you are also correct when you state that "whole package thing is over the top, because he's deluded if he think he'll ever find that person"
To the poster: This guy said the wrong thing. If he said that you were 'the whole package' that would have been nice, but he didn't, did he? I think what he said to you does show an insecure man who is masking his insecurities behind arrogance. A man who possesses self-love does not do this. He shows kindness to others and demonstrates his caring for loved ones. So it was either an insult..or he just had a temporary 'brain fart' and wasn't thinking, clearly. You have to judge this for yourself as you are the one dating him-you know him best. If he's in the habit of saying hurtful things to you, then reassess this relationship. If this was a one-time comment...I would ask him to clearly explain what he meant and let him know how it made you feel. If it made you feel badly, then tell him that.
A
male
reader, SeanG  +, writes (5 May 2007):
He is full of it, I have never met
a) a satisfied guy???
b)someone on this planet who's the whole package
I think someone is spinning carp to you, you should not be so gullible to believe this garbage,
everyone in a society is not satisfied!
Take a look around?? Dont waste your time on guys that talk dribble!
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A
female
reader, drbroz +, writes (5 May 2007):
 I agree entirely with Dr. Psyche and Shania if he's so happy with himself leave him with himself. Good for him. Now, go find yourself a nice man who needs you and appreciates what you have to offer, you sound like a catch.
DrBroz
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (5 May 2007):
 Doesn't this bloke love himself?...It sounds to me like you should be grateful and honoured that he's giving you his precious time,what a massive ego he has and yes,i would agree with Dr Psych and that he probably suffers from a touch of narcissium.I suggest two things that you should do,you either dump him because eventually he will either screw your head up and end up feeling not worthy of him or you carry on seeing him because you probably enjoy his company but be very wary of him and make sure that your in control,trouble is....do you want a relationship like that?
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (5 May 2007):
 You are either dating:
1. Someone with severe emotional issues who pushes anybody and everybody away who gets too close to his affections with stupid excuses. Mr Insecure + had fingers burned before and doesn't trust anyone.
OR
2. A bigoted, arrogant freak who thinks so much of himself that he hasn't the time for anyone else. According to the legend, Narcissus turned into a flower after unrequited love of his reflection in the lake...we can only hope history repeats itself and you have a garden!
I would be really suspicious of anyone who thinks they have everything they want from life...it is only human to crave something more...his life must be boring if he is that satisfied!
Really boyfriend material? Perhaps not...
You decide...
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