He says we're friends, but he doesn't want to talk to me very much! What's up with this guy?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships

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Question - (20 July 2009)

2 Answers - (Newest, 20 July 2009)

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm hoping some of you out there can help me because im really not sure not to do! We you see i've been friends with this guy for 2 years now, we were at college together. The thing is we've always seemed to have som sort of communication problem. Not to sure why tbh. When we first met we spoke quite abit, had a laugh and stuff but things just went..well downhill could you say?

I'm not to sure why but he says that im a great friend to him and everything, he;s said it twice, once ovr msn and the other when he text me last week after we'd been out that night. That text did come as quite a shock to be tbh! However we barely talk. If we talk of msn im the one thats starts the convos, yea he will talk back and stuff but its weird. He will start a convo with me if he needs to say something. We sat next to each other at college for the past year, more or less every lesson! yet...we never really spoke unless i started a convo or he had someting to say. Sometimes he may just say something if hes got somthing to say although when we;ve been alone first thing in a morning hes spoke a lot more to me and when we are alone with me being abit quiet hes the one that tends to do the talking. However if people wre there he;d speak to me if he was like telling us all something or if i was just in on the conversation anyway. Wasn't very often he turned to me n spoke to me personally when others were around!

Now this is the weird bit...i for some strange reason thinks i either annoy the hell out of his, he doesnt wanna be friends, or he hates me! Because if i comment something of his lets say on facebook he never replies. Like lets say if im just commenting in general not necessarily asking anything, maybe something funny..no reply. Anyone else does it..he replies, mostly.

I can't really think he'd hate me because he hates this other lad that was in our class n he;d willingly talk to him and reply to him and stuff. Also it was like 6 months back and we got on great had some real good times together and we were fine, not great but ok. However within this group of friends at college i got bullied and people said stuff about me and basically one girl(whos liked this lad for years) spread lies about me. Making it hard for me to be friends with people in the group. Although after a year that got sorted and as i say me and this lad were mates. I suppose we were before it was just made hard in general. Thing was when we did owt like when it snowed back in February me and some people in the class were talking about it and so they automatically assume this lad was there. None of them really seemed to like us being friends or doing stuff together outside of college.

But yea i don't get why hes different with me if he says im a greta friend to him, why will he answer stuff like i said with the comments thing to everyone else but not me.. im jsut not sure whethr its just we find it hard to talk to each other or not. In one way hes a pretty quiet lad he keeps himself to himself but in another way, start him off and he'll talk for England! I used to think it was because people used to say stuff that made this happen but then again he sat with me for the whole year, and also we left college about a month ago! I'm not to sure whats going on to be fair.. It doesn;t seem nasty its just theres a difference and there seems to be a reason for it thought im not sure what it is! Please could you help me out here! :)

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