A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy online..and he has been saying that intimacy goes hand in hand with a relationship.. and he is not willing to compromise on imtimacy... i lied to him once about not being able to make it to a second date.. sinc e i was scared we were rushing into the whole thing.. problem is ..i have had intimate chats with him but not sure if i want to jump into sex right away before getting to know him better..not sure what to do ? We have argued a bit already and i feel he is a nice person..but was really rude to me.. and said i was the one who had to make it upto him cos i stood him up... i feel turned on.. but I am pushing all the wrong buttons..help! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 November 2012):
 How is he a nice person if after a first date he’s pushing you for sex? He’s not a nice guy. Intimacy is very different from sex.
ONE date and you are fighting….
He’s rude
He wants to get laid.
WALK away from this loser.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 November 2012):
 He is trying to guilt you into doing what HE wants. SEX. He was hoping to find a "booty call" kind of girl and he got one who is interested in a relationship.
Don't let him fool you into thinking that IF you have sex you will have a happy relationship. You won't - you properly won't even hear from him after sex. Or you will ONLY hear from him when he wants sex.
You two are not on the same page or even in the same book. Put him back on the shelf and move on.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (9 November 2012):
 I am going to agree with the other answers here listed here. He is rushing things... if you are already talking about having sex after one date, and he is making you uncomfortable, he is NOT a keeper.
Sex is a game changer in any relationship. There are so many risks once you bring that element into play: pregnancy, commitment, social diseases, etc. For him to be twisting your arm into giving him sex so soon indicates to me he is after one thing: getting laid at whatever the cost.
If you are looking for a long term, committed relationship, I'd be extremely wary of this individual.
Finally, do not let yourself be talked into something you don't feel comfortable doing -- ever. The deal is that in the morning you'll resent him and most importantly you'll resent YOURSELF. And at that point, your relationship will be tarnished beyond repair. Be strong, a worth while man who respects you will understand your principles -- if not, he is not worthy of your attentions.
Eddie
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2012): Help?
Read this again OP "So you have had one date, you are already having arguments, and he is already pressuring for sex."
What part of that sentence says "good catch"? Throw him back in the pond OP, the guy is a douche. That's my 'your side' answer.
Here's how I really see it and no offence OP but you're a bit of a tease.
I know, I know a woman should be able to talk sexually and have "intimate chats", get mutually turned online without the man thinking she's somehow interested in sex with him but sorry, if you're going to talk the talk expect the guy to want you to walk the walk too and you stood him up too.
So basically you're getting off, feeling turned on, having your fun and he gets stood up and after all that sexy talk you turn around and tell him you want to get to know him better first?
If that's the case why did you introduce sex into equation in the first place? Simple, you're a tease. I don't think he's pressuring you either OP, he;s just outlining the type of relationship he wants to have. You keep giving him all the signals through your teasing that you're up for that.
From both view points OP you need to walk away. He wants a sexual relationship and he's not going to get it. You want to get to know each other better but you already made sex the main focus of this thing online, so that's not going to happen either.
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (9 November 2012):
 So you have had one date, you are already having arguments, and he is already pressuring for sex. What you do is block him and never speak to him again. He is only after sex from you, that's all. You don't ever "owe" sex to anyone. You already feel uncomfortable with him too, you had to ditch the second date. I don't understand why you are even still talking to him to be honest... He sounds pretty awful and certainly not relationship material. Maybe a crappy one night stand or casual sex.
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