A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi this is a message for both guys and girls.Guys:I have been going out with a good guy recently and he's told me he knows many women that are available. I went through his phone but in his phonebook there was barely anyone there. He didnt even have any txts from women that seem sexually active with him. Guys, do you do this just to sound like a man? what does this mean? He now seems like a totally different guy that he says he is.Girls:regarding the above, am I normal for feeling this way? am i normal for doing what i did? what should I do? I'm just really confused about this guy now because he's a good man but now he just seems like a liar.PS. i know i havent been really decent for goin thru his phone but its made me open to many objections which is possibly a good thing.
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male
reader, Universe Man  +, writes (13 August 2010):
Just because someone "knows" women doesn't mean he has their phone number or is exchanging sexual texts with them. What exactly made you so concerned about him "knowing" available women that made you have to go through his phone?
And... let me get this straight... if you had found women's names and text messages in his phone you would feel... better?? Because then he wouldn't be a "liar" and a "totally different guy"? Sounds to me like you have player love. That's when a girl is turned off by the guy who only has eyes for her and would rather get used and abused by the leader of the outlaw motorcycle gang.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (13 August 2010):
 What brought about him stating he knows available girls? To know that would be needed in order to speak to his motivations. My guess, you were having a fight, and he said he knew plenty of girls who would be happy to be with him. You being jealous and a bit psycho decided to snoop through his phone. Learn to appreciate what you have. He may have been telling the truth, or he may have been bluffing. Honestly, it doesn't really matter, because now you went and violated the trust of your relationship. :Thumbs up:
Just because he doesn't have things in his phone, doesn't mean he doesn't know people. I know that this day and age many people can't live without their phones, but it really isn't the end all be all of what's happening in somebody's life.
Whatever the case, how you reacted is fairly common, but I wouldn't use the term normal. It definitely isn't healthy to snoop on someone you supposedly trust.
Still, I may be off base entirely. Without a full picture, All I know is that you snooped through his phone because he told you he knows available women. That makes you look like a jealous psycho to me. Everyone knows people who are single, that doesn't mean we're attracted to them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): I don't think you should invade anyone privacy, period, but you did what you did. Guys like to brag a lot, most of the time it's not true. Don't think about it as dishonesty, it is in a way, but innocent one.
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