A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 39. We've been seeing each other for a while now and things are escalating pretty quickly in the physical side of our relationship. I'm a virgin. He's not. I want him to be my first. But every time we try to have sex, he loses his erection. He says it's the condoms. He says he can't feel me. He has an average size. (5 1/2 inches) He always buys durex. Should he try another brand? What would you recommend?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didn't imply that he doesn't want to use condoms. He knows he has to. He just doesn't like the way they feel. Or rather the way Durex feels. He wants us to be safe.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 February 2013):
 C. Grant makes a great point.... what pressure on a middle aged guy a young virgin....
it may be performance anxiety.
Durex has never been my favorite brand... and condoms well I never used them for birth control as I don't trust them. I've had them break.... I suggest a different brand of condoms (something thinner) and consider birth control pills....
some men just don't like condoms.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2013): No way he is spinning you a line to try to get out of wearing them. I admit that it is better without, but you can easily still feel through them. Look how thin they are! Can you feel it of he touches you through your underwear? Exactly! Try other brands just to check but I think you'll find he'll give you the same old bs with any of them. Stick to your guns and tell him to start masturbating with them on to get used to it. Whatever you do don't let yourself be bullied into not using them because that is exactly what he is hoping for.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2013): I am on the pill (for period regulation) but it took me a long time to find one that agreed with me. In fact the first brand ruined my sex drive completely so me and my bf werent having much sex anyway. Some men seem to think the pill is the only option because it feels better for them, but it can severely mess with your hormones and isn't too safe for smokers. It's good but not for everyone. Between a bit of sensation loss for him or pumping your body full of chemicals, I think it's obvious which is less risky so try other brands first.There are brands which are thinner to provide more sensation so perhaps try one of those first. If you have seen how thin a condom is though I have a hard time believing he can't feel anything. I mean I rub my boyfriend through his jeans and he likes it! So it's maybe more in the mind (he thinks he is not going to feel anything so psychs himself out).
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (18 February 2013):
It's the condoms. I've rarely had satisfying sex with them. If you trust him you should get on the pill and have him take an std test.
It will feel better for you as well.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (17 February 2013):
 Can't hurt to try a different brand.
I have to wonder if it's something else though. For a guy within sight of middle age, a 22 year-old virgin would usually get the heart racing. Could he be feeling guilty about taking your virginity? Uncertain? Afraid that sex will imply a commitment that he's not really ready for? Something to ponder.
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