A
female
age
36-40,
*pecialk022
writes:My boyfriend and i have been together for about 3 months and we haven't really gotten too physical, I mean I know he wants to but he says that knowing how "in love" I was with my ex totally turns him off to idea of being with me sexually. I mean what do I do? I really like him possibly love him and I know he feels the same, it's just when it comes to physical things I don't know if he feels like I'm going to compare him or if he just doesn't like the fact that I've done things with another guy. Anyways please help! and I don't know what to do? :(
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female
reader, boo22 +, writes (11 December 2009):
 Hi there, he sounds very insecure. How does he know you were so in love with your ex anyway? If you have talked to him about your past and now he's imagining all sorts of things, then please stop. It is a passion killer.
If this was a man writing i'd say give her loads of reassurance and be patient and everything will be ok and i think the same applies.
He needs to build up his self confidence. good luck x
A
female
reader, specialk022 +, writes (11 December 2009):
specialk022 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have tried to play things up with him so much, ive told him how attracted i am to him and how i feel so deeply about him, ive never talked up my ex to him. he knew my ex (they werent friends or anything) my boyfriend now is one of my older brothers buddiees and he would always be at my house when my ex was over. so i think he picked up on that...
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A
female
reader, Poilkm +, writes (11 December 2009):
I think it sounds likely that he hasn't wanted to rush things for completely separate reasons - maybe he's embarrassed about something, scared of being inexperienced, or is just old fashioned. Meanwhile I think he is also bothered by how 'in love' you were with your ex (naturally) and thinks he could kill two birds with one stone by saying that it turns him off. But why does he know how in love you were with your ex anyway? You should always play down your love for exes. Don't lie, but simply have a bit of respect for their feelings by not going on about it. Play up your feelings for him but play down your feelings for your ex (but never in the same sentence or it will just come across as a comparison). Try to talk about sex between you without mention of your ex or allusion to the fact you have previous experience i.e. talk about something where you both have a level playing ground of experience such as fetish masks. That way you build up something between just the two of you.
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