A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have had bad experiences in the past with anal sex. it was shoved in too hard or it was forced on me to do it. I have been with my boyfriend for two years and he really wants to try it because he has never done it before. I am not a huge fan of it because of the past relationships. He said something the other day that our sex life would be better if i did anal. What does that mean? I still do not feel ready for it with him because he is huge and i am afraid he will tear me in half and i am kind of nervous. Although we have talked about it, I still don't feel comfortable doing it. It will take me awhile to warm up, but i just want to know what does it mean when your partner says sex will be better if i did anal?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontried anal with him first time last night..felt good. i had to relax because i was tensing myself up in the past.
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male
reader, Cowboy  +, writes (1 November 2008):
Ha ha! Fade knows I'm only messing.
And yes Fade, you have absolutely hit the nail on the head (for once).
;op
xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008): Whew cowboy!you are stalking Fade!Its getting tiring.Just go to her and say "I find you absolutely awesome".That I guess should help you.
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male
reader, Cowboy +, writes (1 November 2008):
My point was that women are going to be more used to the concept of being penetrated, not necessarily in the ass, but the idea of something going into their body. Surely anal sex is less of a mental jump for women than it is men?
I didn't say that men who enjoy penetrative anal sex are homosexuals, I was demonstrating that there are other reasons why a man may not want something in his ass.
Of course, this doesn't necessarily mean that all women will automatically like anal sex, or even the idea of it.
I don't know why you mentioned the fact that not all gay men have penetrative sex, but you are quite correct. My friend is gay and he never has receptive anal sex.
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reader, Cowboy +, writes (1 November 2008):
My friend works in a hospital, and if she had a (insert unit of currency here) for every time she has to remove a snapped off cucumber from someone's rectum, I'd probably marry her.
Fade, it is not as straightforward as you imagine.
I am not concerned that I may be homosexual, I don't care how good it might feel, or whether there is a male 'G spot', but I DO have a strong, overriding and primeval aversion of being 'penetrated' which would prevent me from enjoying receptive anal sex, no matter what you've read in some 'sexology' book.
I am certain that an overwhelming majority of men would agree with me on this.
To say that a man should 'get as good as he gives' is missing the point by a wide margin, and demonstrates your acute lack of understanding of the male psyche.
Some men enjoy it, but they are very much a minority.
To state that a woman receiving anal sex from a man is somehow analogous to a man having a vegetable inserted into his ass is utterly preposterous.
You would do well to remember that misandry is a form of bigotry, just like racism and homophobia.
http://dictionary.reference.com/
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFade there is no problem with my listening or reading skills. you don't need to be so rude about it. The guys on here are more encouraging than you are. sorry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe has never stuck it up my ass.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand, size does scare me right now. my boyfriend in 6"thick and i am afraid he will tear me in half. All the other people i did anal with were small pencil thin. LOL. I doubt he would let me stick a cucumber up his ass. He is not gay at all! he doesn't like his bum touched anyway. As for blowjobs, I have a problem with my jaw which requires braces and surgery. Blowjobs stretch the muscles causing dental pain, especially now it is bad. I am going to avoid those as much as possible in the mean time.
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reader, bi200069  +, writes (30 October 2008):
Sounds like he is trying to talk you into it. Personally I enjoy anal, both giving and receiving. My gf is small, 5' 1" and 100lbs and I am 5' 11" and 190 and very thick, over 6 1/2" around. Lots of foreplay, lube, tongue and patience and she now has no trouble taking me and she can cum from anal and will not do without it.
I love the way the anal muscles grip my penis. I have also taken it anally from her thick strap-on and some male friends, one over 7" around. I have found that sometimes it goes in too soon and hurts but if he takes it out so the muscles relax he can go right back in with no problem.
Like anything else, if you like it, its great!
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reader, Cowboy +, writes (28 October 2008):
It all comes down to taking it sloooow.
You'll find that if you manage to get it in, it's better to wait for a minute or two, then start very gently. In no time at all, you'll find that you will relax a good deal, and you'll be able to enjoy it.
I have done this with pretty much every girlfriend I have had.
Once I got the hang of doing it without hurting them, they all ended up really enjoying it, to the extent that they ended up being the one who suggested it during sex.
I think the thing to remember here is that it's not really as enjoyable for the man as it's cracked up to be, it doesn't feel as good as vaginal sex.
But having said that, a blowjob doesn't feel the same as vaginal sex either, but people still do that!
I guess what I'm saying is that once the novelty had worn off, I didn't find myself wanting to do it that badly, but I got asked to do it, so I'm guessing it's better for the woman than the man.
If you learn how to do it (and you do have to learn) then it's certainly an enjoyable thing to do.
ust remember to use a lot of water based lube and go very slow. Don't let him rush you.
On the subject of what the significance of him saying that it would improve your sex life is, I wouldn't worry too much.
Us guys tend to be very matter of fact and don't tend to think before we speak. I don't think your guy thinks you have a bad sex life, I think he just meant that anal sex would be an addition to it.
I think he meant that adding another activity to your 'repetiore' would give you something extra to do together in bed, which can't be a bad thing.
He likes having sex with you, and wants even more!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): He means that HIS sex life will be better. If YOU do not want anal sex, do NOT let yourself be forced into it.
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