A
female
age
30-35,
*eartbrokenme
writes:I met a guy online 3 months back. On the first day itself I had phone sex with him. Initially he was very loving. We were even planning to meet. He used to say if I make you pregnant I will marry you. He said we will make videos while having sex. I said ok to that. Many times he even suggested threesome sex but I was against that. In the initial first month he used to constantly ask me for nude pics and go on cam nude. I was always uncomfortable. And always requested him not to force me because I was uncomfortable. He never listened. He used to get disappointed with me, so just to make him happy I started sending him pics and also had sex on cam with him. After 1 month his work pressure increased and he started working 16 hours. So he stopped talking and texting. I used to see him 50 times online in 1 hour on social media. I never questioned him about it. Whenever I asked him something or tried to make a conversation he only replied in 'hmm' 'ya baby' 'ok'. He always behaved cold. When I said your replies are always cold he said I was never a texting person, he also said you can start a conversation what is your problem. I always made him feel loved and wanted. But he stopped making efforts. He never avoided my messages or calls. I started fighting for little time and attention. I accused him of using me for sex. He said 8 of 10 times it was me who wanted sex. Yes I loved having phone sex with him but I only did it when he wanted it. Some days back he brokeup with me saying he cannot take constant pressure of me fighting with him. Right now I am feeling so numb and betrayed. I begged him to give me another chance. I told him I will understand your situation. And he said it will not work out. He says my nature is bad. What was my fault?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (18 October 2014):
The only thing you're trtruly guilty of is not knowing when it's time to break up with someone.
You weren't happy with what he had to offer and made an effort to speak to him about it, but when it was obvious it wouldn't change, you should have dumped him.
There's no reason to compromise who you are and what makes you happy simply to be with someone (that doesn't make make you happy!).
My advice is to look back on your relationship to learn a lesson or two so you can grow as a person. No, I don't mean trying to figure out how you could have kept him, but to figure out why keeping him was more important than being happy and what you can do to avoid this in the future.
PS, while I'm sure you had your part in the breakup just as much as he did, in the end you guys weren't compatible at all.
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (18 October 2014):
I know you must be hurting with the behaviour of this guy and he has no right whatsoever to say anything over your nature.This is not a matter of FAULT rather that you made a wrong choice in having phone sex to please him.You were right to refuse a threesome.Would you consider joining a dating agency and hopefully meeting someone who would respect and care for you in a loving way.Or joining groups for example Tennis.Debating. Writers group.Any group of mixed company where you might meet a nice guy.Best wishes,NORA B.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2014): It sounds to me like he was using you for your photos and phone sex and then got bored and moved to the next girl and you persisted. I hate to put it blunt but my ex tried that with me but never got what they wanted.
The only fault of yours was believing it all. It's amazing how many people do this, it's not your fault and you should probably move on and forget about him.
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