A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I like this guy who just turned 20. I am 16. The day before my 16th birthday, I went to his house (I am really great friends with his sister, and whole family, thats how we met). We don't usually talk a lot when I'm over there, because I am over there for his sister, because, as I said, we are really great friends. But, he had to take my friend (his cousin) and me home, after a fun day over there. And my mom loves him, and wants me to be happy. She has told him that it is okay if he dated me. Anyways, that night, my mom, his sister, his cousin, me, and him, were all out there talking, for like, an hour, maybe even 2! My step dad tho, is a really big jerk about it. he says I'm not allowed to date until I am 18. But my mom and him got into a big fight over it, that night, because of it. My mom just wants me to be happy, and thats all she cares about. I like him so much. but he has told my mom that he doesn't want to be with me right now. he wants someone older, someone more mature. I am very mature for my age, according to everyone I have ever known. I know my limitations. And I know he doesn't want to be with me just yet. He's afraid that if we did get together, he would go to jail because of the age difference. I hate the fact that age is the only reason we are not together. The older you get, the more you don't care about age. Who cares he was born 4 years earlier than I was? I wouldn't do anything to screw my future up. I know that I would not have sex until I am 18, at least, maybe until I am married! He is very respectable. And he knows I do not want to be with a jerk like my step dad. I know, that if I could, I would give up everything for him. But I know he wouldn't let me. Please help me. I have no idea what to do. His whole family is like my family. All my family, is in California, and his has taken me in, even if I have my brother, my mom and my step dad. What should I do? Should I wait? Should I move on? I love him. He's the greatest person I have ever known...Help me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): He's just being decent, if it's meant to be then your get together when you turn 18. Try to move on in your life, it be more attractive too him if he sees your not walking around depressed. Some guys are like this, this one guy wouldn't date me for the same reason
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): Maybe you should try to move on. I been there before but I got into the relationship with a "mature" guy and he became controlling because I was 15 and wanted to do things he didn't want to, such as hang out with my "teenage" friends. Just be careful, everything can change when you get into a relationship with someone. Take your time though, but I agree with your mom! (:
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A
female
reader, crystlay  +, writes (15 October 2007):
I think the age is fine and u sound like u'd know what ur doing, but u need to respect that he doesnt want to be with u right now. my advice is to try and move on.
x
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (14 October 2007):
I agree with your father. Your mother is not acting wisely. You need more time before dating a mature man. You need to date a few guys your own age until you are at least 18.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): I tend to think this guy is pretty mature and honest. Whatever his feelings, he is aware of the age difference and wants to do the "right thing". And you could be reading something into this from your own hopes, hon. How do you know he thinks of you the same way, i.e., romantically? Liking you and being friends is not the same thing as wanting to have a "relationship". Go slow, here. Let some time pass and see how things go. You are still very young in his eyes. But there are not many years between you. He may move on with someone else, and you should be understanding of that. But, who knows? He may still be free when you are older. Right now, don't embarrass yourself..or him..by assuming something he does not intend.
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