A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, not really sure how to address this question. So my fiance and i have been talking about marriage, weve been together going on 4 years and have 2 kids together and i thought we were both ready. well one day i brought it up and he said he didnt want to talk about that we werent ready that was a little over 5-6 months ago. Well the other nite making love he asked me if i would ever sleep with another girl, i told him maybe, which i meant it, everyone is curious... but then he said if you munch, ill marry.. now can anyone tell me what the means.. is it games or what???
View related questions:
fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): 4 years and 2 kids down the line and he will only marry you if you go down on another woman. Sorry but a marraige proposal should not be conditional in any way.
I am sorry that he is the father of your children and that you have wasted 4 years of your life with him but you do have your children to thank him for and to be honest that is all I can see that is any good from your relationship I think its time to find a new life with the possibility of a new man in the future.
I am a man and to me it seems he is thinking more about getting off sexually than thinking in any way shape or form of your needs and feelings
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (9 June 2009):
 Frankly it shouldn't come down to if you'd sleep with another woman. Four years and two kids should be more than enough for him to decide if he wants to marry you or not. I can see this coming up as a sexual fantasy but he's got some huge freaking nerve making this a precondition for marriage.
Hopefully he was not serious but if he was, I agree that you've wasted a lot of time.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): actually i think he was trying to call your bluff.. I may be wrong, but I like poker..
I think he's betting you would never do that and in turn.. secures his place of never getting married. kind of like saying your never going to do this so I'm never going to do that...
maybe you should come back with a fresh rebuttle of
you know I thought alot about what you said and
" I think your right a new person might do us well in bed, --- his name is dave!"
see if he likes the taste of that... :P
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): It sounds just like a joke. I dont think you need to take it too seriously. See if he keeps on asking about it and if he does mention a threesome just casually say `oh what guy did you have in mind to join us?` that should get him to shut up :P. but really if you arent interested in threesome make sure he knwos that
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): WOW.
That is NOT a good reason to marry someone.
But prehaps there's more behind it than just, munch n marry.
Maybe if you munch.. (lol that word is starting to humour me) .. then it'll shine a new light for him. Maybe he's thinking.. "this girl is perfect for me.. She this and that and wonderful but if she would munch, that would make her the girl of my dreams."
Maybe he's looking for the open-mindedness and excitement that comes along with you being with another girl.
People in relationships need to be compatable on many different levels, including sex.
Do you see what i'm saying? While i am appauled at his comment and would really not appreciate it in your case, I am trying to look a little more deeply into it than just "he's a weird perve."
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): That's just stunning. That has to be the most callous, superficial, off-base comment I've read here in a while (and if you read much stuff here, that's saying something!).
OK, I'll back up for a sec and say that maybe he was just inarticulate, that since you were in bed he didn't have enough blood near the big head to prevent something innocent coming out like that. At the least, you ought to have a conversation about it at a time when you're not, er, distracted.
If that's what he really meant? That his precondition for marriage is seeing you with another woman? The most charitable thing I can say is that you've made a tremendous mistake wasting 4 years with this person.
...............................
A
female
reader, sunshineey  +, writes (9 June 2009):
That is a total game. Do you think that whether you actually munch is going to be the deciding factor in marriage? If you do munch for marriage, how much to you think he is going to be expecting you to do it afterwards? I think munching for marriage would just lead to disaster.
...............................
|
