A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend told me that he was thinking of asking me to marry him a couple of weeks ago. It would have been an impulsive ask. We were in a hotel for a couple of days and the weather was terrible so we spent the day in bed eating pizza and vegging out. We had been at a gig the night before and it wasn't by any means a romantic hotel so he thought better of it. The cuddles and loved up ness had gotten to him I suppose! He said he didn't because of this and because he likes to have thought things through! I agree. However we were talking yesterday about marriage and he told me I wouldn't have to wait very long at all. I'm confused though, he is starting up a business this coming year and there will be no time for holidays and he knows he'll be working a lot of hours. I totally understand this too. We had also agreed before that it would be a tiny wedding/ elopement followed by a great holiday. And he believes in a very short engagement - like three months which I'm fine with! So really looking at timelines it will be at least summer 2015 so I might get proposed to by spring 2015 - this is what I assume in my head . So I'm unsure as to why he has reassured me that I won't have to wait long at all hahah. Is over a year short in man brain?? He sort of teased me saying that it could be weeks or maybe months! And he even said he had an idea of how he would do it! I'm getting my hopes up now and I need someone to reassure me or ground me!! We are 30 and 31 years old and have been together a year and a half!
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (31 December 2013):
 A "long time" is a most elusive concept.
If you are waiting for your dog to bring back the "Frisbee" that you threw, it can be just a few seconds. IF there is a small stream that goes past your house, and you expect to wait until it carves out the Grand Canyon, expect that "long time" to be several million years....
The long and short of it is: When a guy has a girl who is putting out for him.... and he knows that she has aspirations to get married.... and he knows that he has to keep her interested, but not be too specific about why... THEN he tells her that it might be a "long time" before they can get married.....
P.S. EITHER he's done a great job prepping you for the "long time" due to starting a business.... OR, you are deluding yourself in to justifying his "long time" by making up the "It takes long hours to start a business, and THAT makes time for romance, care, concern AND getting married impossible."
Hint: Starting a business need not cut in to your's (and his) love life..... Quite to the contrary.... it's terrific to have the love and support of a dedicated partner when one DOES have to endure those long and grueling hours!!!!
Good luck....
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