A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear friends,I've just had a stupid argument with my husband. We made up, but I would still like to hear your opinions as I strongly believe that I am right.Here's what happened. I hate lying. But, I agreed to support him with this particular lie he devised. For some reason he didn't want to go out for a lunch with his family that lives nearby, in the restaurant in the street where we live. He told them that we wouldn't be home at that particular hour, but that they were more than welcome to come visit us when they finish. So his excuse was that we weren't physically present in our neighborhood (but in the other part of town). This part was in my mind very important.Here's the problem. We were passing by in our car the erstaurant his family was sitting in (I could see that they were still holding menus in their hands ready to order as it was the time for lunch). Suddenly, my hubby got so excited to see them (now here's the stupid part in my opinion) that he started honking (!!!) in an attempt to get their attention.I didn't yell at him I didn't grab his hand. I just told him that it makes no sense if he still wanted to avoid having lunch with them, which he did by the way.My reasoning was that if they see us they would think that we got home earlier and would happily invite us to join them. How could he say no then? They didn't see us. The light changed and we drove away.He got angry with me. I mean he didin't yell but he started saying mean things to me. Apparently I lack spontaneity. In his words I am completely wrong to think that his move was impulsive and not well thought through. He told me that I block his energy.He had no answer to what would have happened once they had seen us. He didn't even tell me that we would wave at them and drove off. He didn't tell me that he would stop the car greet them and then again refuse their invitation. Or that in, for him, the worst case scenario, we would park the car and join them.I was not angry with him I was just surprised by his actions and reaction to my reminding him that we had lied.Anyway, I still think I was right. Am I wrong to think that?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2016): Wrong, right... Who cares. Seriously if this is all you have to get worked up about, to the point that you need to write to an agony aunt page- you and your husband ain't doing so bad
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2016): Thank you for your answer! I was just trying to get another opinion and maybe see the situation from his point of view.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 February 2016):
 Anyone would have replied like you did. There are many 30 year olds that secretly want to behave like teenagers again. Just like at some Adam Sandler or Will Ferrell movies then you will understand what I mean. The kind of humor he was trying to pull was juvenile. He was trying to retreat and escape from the adult world. You blocked that access. The reality was indeed, his parents would notice you and ask you to join in. He was upset you didn't go along with this joke, but instead brought him back to painful/boring reality.
This is really not worth fighting. I suggest doing something youthful like roller blading, or contact some high school friends for any activity. But none of anything that would cause conflict with his family or hurt people's feelings.
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