A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dont know if ive made a mistake , I dumped my boyfriend yesterday because i came last in his life. I know work and family come first. I wouldnt expect to come before them, but he couldnt give me the time i wanted. I'm not demanding.I'd be happy with once a week and now I've let him go im thinking maybe i shouldnt have . What can i say to him to give it another go ? im also prepared for him to say no to me Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2016): The intent is only what counts.Why did you dump him?If you did it because you REALLY NEED more than that is fine and you are now having second thoughts because you are probably afraid of being alone.But if you have dumped him because of your ego, while seeing him once a week suited you just fine, then that's a different story.We sometimes get angry because our ego is hurt (we have preconceived ideas of how things should be, how people should behave etc.) while the situation or the person we're in contact with is not really hurting us.If it was just your ego, then you should reconsider. Also, you don't say how long you had been together, or what kind of life you have independently of him.If you're relationship wasn't long, maybe you were moving too fast for him. If you do not lead a busy life (work-wise, socially or otherwise) you may feel left out. How do you spend your time?And the last thing, which is very important, what did you guys do when together? If you mostly stayed in (had sex, or just hung out...), didn't go out, mingle with each other's friends/family, made no plans for the future (I'm not talking about marriage, but small things like dining out, cinemas, theatres etc). Then, it could be that you both had a different definition of your relationship from the start. In any case, think about what you really need and see where and if he fits that picture.
A
male
reader, dougbcoll  +, writes (29 February 2016):
 How long have you been with him? You should tell him how you feel, but tell him in the right way to not offend him. You should not have to settle for last place. Let him know you feel neglected and that you need more. He may be a nice guy, the way someone treats their parents, and even strangers should be a good indicator of how he will treat you on down the road of life. His dad is disabled, then work also he may have his hands full. If you have a heart for him tell him how you feel, and be open to him also.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2016): I agree with Honeypie. I recently also quit seeing a man because he didn't seem to have enough time for me. And like you, I had second thoughts that maybe I should of been ok with the little bit of time he was able to spend with me.
You didn't make a mistake. You shouldn't come last in a relationship.
If he cares, he'll contact you and give you the time and attention you need.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2016): Im the op, hes got a disabled dad that he helps out. He isnt married and has no kids. i dont mind the once a week
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 February 2016):
 Why settle for being a once a week GF in the first place?
Is it that you are more scared of being alone than being with the wrong guy?
Is he married? Is that why family comes first? Or does he have an ex and kids ? A sick mother/father?
I'm sorry I would not be content in my 30's to have a one day a week BF.
But this isn't me, it's you. So call him and talk. Maybe he needed a little wake up call?
Unless of course he is married, then I'd block and delete his number.
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