A
female
age
41-50,
*azzie1
writes:Little confused, I've been with my boyfriend for about 3yrs we we're livin together but I got my own place because of personal reasons..I don't trust him, cheated 2x with the same girl, we got to an argument and he blurted out that he met a girl already and had sex with a 20 yr old but said that I got him upset because I kept on insulting him. Should I beleive him being that he's been away for 4 days takin care of buisness..To top it off he has anger problems and I have 2 boys who are not his. Am I wasting my time..and last week I over heard a phone conversation of him flirting with a girl he say's that I force him cuz I'm so negative. Help!!
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female
reader, bellasmommy +, writes (27 July 2008):
stop being so negative.. though you being negative shouldnt FORCE him to cheat, negativity isnt healthy (i should know, im extremely negative and its ruining my relationship so ive been trying to stop being so negative) anywho, he seems like a pig, you dont deserve to be cheated on, even if you are a negative nancy.
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 Yes maybe you do push him away but if he really cared about you he would be helping you not using you as an excuse to cheat.
If he has anger issues get out of it now as he probably wont change and you and your boys are worth so much more than this man x
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A
female
reader, molly4  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 I think you should break it off with this guy, for the sake of you and your kids! You didn't force him to cheat, but you need to get out of this relaitonship and move on. Its not healthy for you, and a bad environment for your kids to grow up them. Find somebody who will respect you and treat you like a human being! xoxo
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): All woman can do is drive a man away, drive him to the point where cheating actually seems like the best and/or only option.
But that is merely showing him the door. And in the words of 'The Matrix'... he is the one who must walk through it.
A relationship can survive infidelity, it takes time, and a hell of a lot of effort on both parts (because they both must own up their part in the sad affair) and a sprinkle of forgiveness and mercy. And then there is the most crucial ingredient of all... love. If you love each other, then you will find the way to get past this, find the way to mend the bridge.
But if neither of you love each other anymore, then its time to call it quits... because your children do not deserve to be dragged through a love-less marriage.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): No one can be "forced" into cheating. Your man cheats because he wants to. He's pond scum for even suggesting that his cheating ways are your fault. Help yourself: ditch this class-A pig.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (27 July 2008):
 i agree with smiles. all the while you may be pushing him away but in the end its his choice whether he can keep it in his pants or not, since hes making a point of it hes is trying to turn it on you and not himself..you have to do whats best for you and your two boys if i were you i wouldnt put up with it and neither should you you can do so much better than this weasal and i know you may love and care for him but someone else will love you much more and value you and cherish you so much better than this jerk.. do whats best for you and the kids say goodbye.. hope that helps aphexy xx
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 No. No man is ever "forced" to cheat on his wife or girlfriend. He may not have set out to do it but it's the culmination of a series of choices that HE has made.
That said, men have fragile egos (poor little us) and if we don't feel appreciated at home then someone else who appears, temporarily, to appreciate us and who strokes our ego, can seem very attractive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): Vow, you surely have a lot to deal with; and I have lots of empathy with you;
BUT
you need to do what is best for YOU and YOUR 2 BOYS;
this guy is only creating emotional turmoil in your life; which also has an affect on your children;
He is trying to put the blame on you for his "misconduct" and bad behaviour; You know of better; don't allow him to take advantage of you or the situation;
I suggest you "kiss" him goodbye!
Take care of yuorself and your children; do what is best for yourself and the kids; I know it might be difficult, BUT
wave him goodbye; You deserve somebody that can love you; value you and respect you; not somebody that is using you and "cheating" on you;
Be strong and do what you have to for the benefit of your future and for the sake of your children.
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
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