A
female
age
30-35,
*aiti30
writes:I need advice... and fast! Me and my boyfreind have hit a rough patch, its like im the only one trying in the relationship, hes been stressed and i know that but he doesnt show me he cares anymore, i asked him 2 call me twice! at different times and... nothing then today i kinda go off and say "i need to know i can depend on you! i want you to show me you care" then he tells me he thinks we need a break... please note weve been living innhis parents house together for a couple months and they put a starin on our relationship.. .the whole house does, so i offered to go home for a few days but he needs to call me. Anyway so i ask why he thinks that and he says because im bewcoming obessive? then i ask how long and he said indefinte break...? im not sure what that is exactly but it doesnt sound good, how do i fix this? what do i need to do to build us back up?? after the conversation i asked if hed call me later he said he didnt know, then i said i loved him he hesiated said it back and that was it... please help!
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female
reader, kaiti30 +, writes (22 July 2012):
kaiti30 is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey, thanks for all the comments! i didnt call him for 2 days and he recently called me, on his own, and we had a decent talk, not about the fight, he told me some reasson on y hes stressed and he told me he loved me, first, and the conversation was ended, so i think it was just him stressin g, thanks everyone!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2012): My boyfriend asked for a break, which basically meant leave him alone. I didn't want to do this and got very upset and then he totally cut me off. I left him alone totally for four months and had just got to the point of forgetting all about him and then a couple of weeks ago he got back in touch. I am only telling you this because giving him space and what he wanted worked as in a roundabout way I can tell he is wanting more contact with me. When someone requests a break or no contact it initially seems that you are going to die without them and it is a terrible shock but after a while they do seem to gravitate back. This is the second time my men friends have asked for a break and then eventually want to cone back to me so if I was you and you want to keep him I would go with his request. The key is not to behave too upset and at all times be light hearted and jovial. I personally find the space thing a load of crap and it annoys the hell out of me but men seem to need this. Your post comes across as a little desperate, clingy and needy all major turn offs to men and I think it might benefit you to distance yourself from him for a while. When things aren't going well in a relationship from the male point of view not many men want to hear 'I love you' as they feel forced into responding. Your boyfriend clearly wants time apart from you and if you give it to him nd keep away it is extremely likely that he will come back. For me after 4 months of basically being dumped and having to come to terms with him wanting 'space' I am not at all sure that I would want him back and who knows you may well be the same!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2012): I don't think its wise to attempt to build it back up. An indefinite break is basically another way of saying he wants and end to the relationship. It doesn't sound like he loves you either and if he is a possessive kind of person then I'd say cut your losses and go! Because you've had a lucky escape. Possessive people are nightmares to be with and can be very dangerous in relationships. So try not to feel so down about things and smile that you can get on with things in a healthy way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2012): who knows what's really going on in his head. there's really no telling. but if he's asking for space because you're making him feel cramped, the best thing you can do is back off and give him his space. this means stop asking when and if he's going to call, and stop pushing him. if he really is feeling cramped, continuing to ask him when he's going to call or why he's not wanting to talk, will only push him further and further away. occupy your time elsewhere. the more distant you seem, the more appealing you will become.
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