A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I've met this guy who is HIV undetectable and he says it's safe to have unprotected sex cause the hiv is not transmitable cause of medication. I don't really know much about undetectable HIV can I get some info
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 April 2017):
 Get informed, but do use condoms. HIV is a very serious illness, and you do not want to risk anything when it comes to your own health. Always use condoms when with a new sexual partner, until both parts have been tested and are clean and you are in a committed relationship. Until then, always use condoms. And if you and this man want a committed relationship later on, get informed about HIV by going to the library or ask your doctor.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2017): INFO is you use a condom regardless!
Further information can be obtained as I did by Googling - undetectable HIV; not so much Dear Cupid as this is not a Medical Website.
To put you on track please consider; https://www.hiv.va.gov/patient/faqs/transmission-of-undetectable-virus.asp
Get informed correctly, stay healthy, be wise
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2017): No it is not safe obviously. Use a condom
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2017): I very strongly suggest that you and your friend go to the local LGBT clinic and have a sit-down discussion.
You need professional advice, given on the spot. Ask all the questions necessary for a full understanding regarding any and all sexually-transmitted diseases. Not only are you at risk, but others you come in-contact with.
As you can see, I am very passionate on this topic! I am safe, and negative; but I want myself and my partner to be safe. Your friend should be adamant about it, if he gives a shit about you! He was well-informed about the risks at the time of his diagnosis; and he's keeping you in the dark about it.
I will say it goes beyond stupid and impetuous to take unnecessary risks with your health. This relationship may not last as long as you hope; and if infected, you can pass on the infection to others. You may even cheat; but not tell the partner you are involved with someone HIV+ to avoid the stigma. I am gay, and I know the darned stupid things gay men do these days. Knowing better, and acting like irresponsible fools! They think the pills will cure you, there is no known cure for HIV/AIDS. Undetectable does not allow for irresponsible risk! Not even if you're HIV-!!!
As a gay man, by no means do you have unprotected sex with anyone at anytime!!! Penetrative-sex is very high-risk and the most common means of infection. You must take precautions even when using a condom. It can break.
Have you not read and heard enough about unprotected-sex to deduce that no protection leaves you vulnerable and at risk to any type of sexually-transmitted disease?!!
Protect yourself and others. Use condoms, get tested, and ask healthcare professions questions to get straight and valuable information.
Good luck, sweetie!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (8 April 2017):
 If you go to Las Vegas Do you expect to win at every game you play? If you have to ask the question it shows that you are afraid of the answer. You want some anon person out here in the world of fantasy relationships to "Oh sure it's just fine to have sex with someone that Says they have a deadly disease but it's "undetectable" I think "undetectable" is code for HIV.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 April 2017):
 Why unprotected? WHY on EARTH risk it?
He is a LOT less likely to give you HIV if the numbers are so low they are "undetectable" but unless you have a GOOD talk with your doctor or A doctor I think you should NOT play Russian Roulette with your life.
If he has HAD HIV and is now on meds his number (if it was caught early) can be very low which means he might NOT ever get full blown AIDS - he CAN however have plenty of other STD's if his MO is to have unprotected sex with other people who are also NOT taking precautions and using condoms.
Why NOT use condoms? It's just common sense whether he has "undetected HIV" or not. He is sexually active, YOU are sexually active which means EITHER of you can have STD/STI's.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (8 April 2017):
 All sounds a bit iffy to me, especially as you hardly know him and, quite obviously, don't trust him (otherwise you would not be asking this question).
We have gut instincts for a very good reason: to protect us. If your gut instinct is telling you something is not quite right, PLEASE LISTEN and don't leave yourself vulnerable. You can always start WITH condoms and, when you have more information, IF you find out it is safe to do so, you can move onto having unprotected sex - just the same as you should in any new relationship. I would imagine your doctor would be a good place to start asking questions, or contact the Terrence Higgins Trust.
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A
female
reader, LifeEssence +, writes (8 April 2017):
Hi there, a HIV viral load can become undetectable with antiretroviral therapy.
An undetectable viral load means there are incredibly low levels of the virus within the body. And the chances of viral submission of undetectable HIV have been shown to be between 1-4% (via anal transmission)
However, though the chance is submission is very small you have to remember it is still there. I recommend talking to your partner about your concerns and if you are both happy To, engage in unprotected sex. But if you feel you have developed any symptoms of HIV since the unprotected sex, then do seek medical help.
Enjoy being intimate with your partner, but if you have any worries or concerns talk to your doctor.
I hope this has been helpful for you.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (8 April 2017):
Best place to go is your local sexual health service clinic to ask these questions. Look on your local NHS website or google "CASH clinics" + your local area.
It's a specialist subject and since the "aunts" on here are just well-meaning members of the public with no specialist training at all you might get advice that is incorrect or misleading.
But I would NOT have sex with him without a condom until you have seen a sexual health specialist.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2017): Google it. There has been a lot of research into this but I'm not sure if is true in 100% of cases. And it relies heavily on the persons consistent use of their medication - how can you be sure they're taking it perfectly? If in doubt, speak to your doctor or a health professional.
Even if you can't get HIV from this person -There are other nasty STIs and STDs to be wary of. I don't think you should ever really have anal sex without a condom.
Don't do it if you're not comfortable.
Ask a doctor for advice.
Do your research.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (8 April 2017):
 Speak to a doctor and *never* have unprotected sex until you're fully committed and both clean of STDs - which means never, with this guy.
It is *not* safe to have unprotected sex with him and you should leave him because he's trying to trick you - or he's too naive with his own health and making dangerous suggestions.
Please see a doctor to confirm that it's not safe and to get more info.
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