A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am in an age gap relationship, my partner is 57 and I am 37, we have a great relationship, he has a boy of 8 from a previous relationship whom I have known since he was 3 and we get on brilliantly, there is only one problem I have recently admitted to myself and to my partner that I really think that I want a baby. My partner has been as supportive of this as he can be but he says that he felt he was too old to have his last child, even though when he came he did as much as he could do for him and is actually a brilliant dad. He has told me that he will support me as much as he can, but that he does not want to have another child, but if it something that I need to do then anything can be worked out. I am so unsure of what to do has anyone else been in this predicament?
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female
reader, daelcohu  +, writes (1 October 2009):
 thst is the reason why I my ex and me split up 2 years ago, I was 26,he was 55, he did not want kids, and I got tired of waiting, he was very supportive too, but he just wasted my time, now he is trying to get me back and I still do not know what to do. I recomment you communicate with him and find out soon what he wants and what you want.
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (13 September 2009):
 This isn't fair. If you are a unit together, then he should be the father of your child. What - are you supposed to get pregnant by someone else and then him father the child? In which case, as he will be fulfilling the fatherly role, why not just be the child's real father? It is also nonsense, as once he had the child, he would be totally happy about it.
Nope, for me I'm afraid this is just another of those male excuses for not fathering a child. A hell of a lot of men that I have spoken to are very reluctant to have children - and they certainly have a 'what for??' type attitude if they already have children. Your man is dressing this up as 'being sensible' and is offering to help in any way - but in any way apart from the obvious one! Does he really want you to have to go through being impregnated by a stranger?
I think you should think very seriously now . How much do you love him? Because you deserve a proper, willing father for your child or children (and I suspect that once you have one, you will want at least one more - most of us do). This is so important for your future life and happiness - he can't deny you it. He knows that (hence the offering to do whatever), but he doesn't want the full responsibility. Well, frankly he should go that extra mile if he loves you. If he doesn't, you should think very carefully about whether you want to be with him or with someone who would let you have a normal family. I think. (sorry if that seems harsh on your guy, but he's already got a child - you haven't yet).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): I am not sure on what he means, he doesn't want another child, but if it is something you really need then anything can be worked out???It sounds like he is willing to give you the baby because he wants to make you happy? Problem solved....maybe he really means he is quite happy without another child, doesn't want to change things at this late stage of his life, but he intends to give you what you want.Sounds like a gift to me.
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