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female
age
51-59,
*onkeylove
writes: My Boyfriend and I live as if we're married, but he says he wants to "let things happen" What is his real issue?My boyfriend and I live together for the last year, along with my three children. We share all the bills, house, vehicle, checking account etc. He treats my children as if they were his own (he has no children).He is 30yrs old and I am 38yrs old. He has told me that he wants a child (my tubes are tied) and we have discussed invetro to make this happen. He treats me very well. Loves, respects, and is 100% devoted to our relationship and children. So, with all that said, I am very confused on why marriage is such a "no-no" right now for us? I have asked him and he has said that he is not against us getting married and that he has no fear of our relationship changing because of marriage. He says he's not afraid of marriage....so what's his issue? He even comes from a family where mom and dad loved each other and has had a very fulfilling childhood.Please help, I feel like I'm not good enough or that one day, he will just decide it's over and I also feel that maybe he feels I'm not good enough?Monkeylove Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jabey  +, writes (20 December 2006):
Sounds like you have a fantastic relationship and nothing at all to worry about. A lot of men are just not that bothered about tying the knot. He probably feels quite happy and in love and content at the moment to not worry about it. It certainly does not mean he will leave you lets be honest he could do that if you were married, that certificate does not guarentee anything these days. As you said he is not opposed to the idea, and Im sure when he feels the time is right he will pop the question. Perhaps he wants to surprise you with a proposal one day. If you keep pushing the issue he will back off. Dont mention marriage for now. Enjoy all the wonderful things you have with him and relax, and I bet very soon he will come round to the idea on his own accord and ask you. And how much more fulfilling for you that will be knowing it has come from his heart rather than being pushed into it. My sister had to wait ten years for her fella to decide he was ready for marriage and they have the best relationship I know. Your very lucky to have someone who loves you and your children,he must love you madly and no piece of paper can prove that.
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