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writes: Me and my boyfriend have just split up after five months together. He is 21 and I am 33. We are gay.We had a wonderful relationship. He always texted me each day telling me how much he loved me until suddenly after New Year just came out with the announcement that things were not working for him. In the later stages of our relationship he preferred to go out with his friends at weekends rather than me.We met up for the first time this week (Sun) and we had a good night out together. He asked me for a meal on Wednesday and promised to text the following day to arrange. That night he told me he had slept with someone a fortnight ago and that really hurt me. Yet, after I told him I was moving to London for a new job he would not let go asking all sorts of questions about it.As he was driving home that night he texted saying he would be in touch and put kisses at the end.But he did not get in touch the following day. I texted him on the Wednesday asking if he was still up for it but he said he had a bad cold. He did in fact have a cold on the night we went out.You see, he has a habit of saying things and then not doing them. Yet, when he texts me and I don’t reply within minutes he gets back to me asking why I have not responded.In his text on Wednesday, he suggested that we meet early next week. But I am the one who always gets hurt. It has got to the stage where I am afraid to call him or text him, as he may not respond. I am of course hopeful of a reconciliation, but I just don’t know what to do. Every time he suggests a meet I feel like a pest when I have to remind him. I am tired of feeling like a mug by always having to make contact. I desperately want him back.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2006): I agree with the other replies, I am gay, and I crave the affection from my partner, who wouldn't, but Greg, he is hurting you, and playing with your feelings, as he knows that you'll always come back. I picture a boomerang, he keeps throwing you, and you'll come back. I know it's hard, I've been in a simalar situation, but you need to be strong and move on as he is, Firstly: Not loyal to you, as he slept with someone else already, i doubt thats the only one since he's been with youSecondly: He does not keep his promises to meet you, making you look like the fool in love rushing back, "boomerang effect"Thirdly: now that you'll be moving, all of a sudden he shows interest in your future, and perhaps it shocked him, that he'll no longer have the power to "play with your feelings", or maybe somewhere in his mind he sees what he is loosing. like when you don't reply- he fears that you get stronger, and control yourself, making him weak, and wondering.Lets say for example, he decides to get back with you, I guarantee that you'll be left feeling vulnerable all the time wondering what he'll do next, or when he'll have a change of heart towards you, and do his own things and sleep with other people, putting you at risk with your health.Greg, please do not remind him, he is playing with you, and you are falling for it. If he was serious about you, he would have not been a coward and slept with another person, and he would have not let you hanging on by a thread.show him that you are strong and that you are moving on whether he likes it or not, you must not wait in the wings waiting for him to take you back.This might sound nuts, but If he is the one to remind you about the meeting, go, but DO NOT make yourself look desperate, lay the cards down on the table, and be forward, ask him what changed after new years, what all of sudden sparked this change, as you need closure to move on, and for whatever reason he gives you, let this be the last time that he plays with you, and dump him, there is someone special waiting for you. no one has the right to play with another humans feelings.All the best, let us know what happens.Kind Regards.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (9 March 2006):
 From what you are saying I think he is a foolish and inconsiderate person, he is using and abusing your affections and you need to see him for the waste of skin he really is.
Dont let him mess you about anymore. Take charge of this situation by not responding to his calls or texts. This fella is unreliable, why do you set yourself up to be hurt by him and then be surprised by his behaviour if he keeps doing it? Do not arrange to meet him. Send him on his way. You will find somebody who never lets you down on a whim and treats you with respect he is out there waiting! But the chances are he wont wait for you to get over this user.
Please let it go and move on.
Good luckx
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female
reader, smeedle +, writes (9 March 2006):
 He is acting like a spoilt teenager, he wants it all but he does not know what all of it he wants.
He is playing around with you and teasing you, it feels powerful to him that he can text you and stir you up, that you will respond and you will meet him, he cancels or does not text back because he knows you will do the running.
It is a game he is playing and you need to put a definate stop to it, tell him you want a seriouse chat, a once and for all cards on the table talk and go through how you feel and ask how he feels.
Look realistically at the relationship, were it went wrong and how this could if possible be fixed. Set ground rules and both of you agree to this.
If after the chat you both agree that it is just not going to work then walk away and stay away, move on even though it is hard, never look back.
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