A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Myself and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 3 years. he is 27, and im 18. Im looking for a job now ive left college because i want some independance and my own place to live- hopefully with my boyfriend. He isnt on a very good wage in his job, and never has had a good job that pays well. The problem is, whenever i bring up the subject of moving in together- he says he would love to but he just simply cant afford to, hence the reason why he still lives at home at the age of 27!? I find this so strange that he is still at home with his mum, although i have expressed this in a different way to him than what i really think. When i try and encourage him to get a new, better paid job that he actually enjoys, he just says that the job he is in is easy, and hes got it easy because he never has to work full days. He is a very good writer and writes lots of articles for a certain website, and i say to him that he should persue a career in writing or something and he just shrugs it off and says the job he has gives him an easy life and a way to see me more. The thing is, we live like two hours away from each other on the train, and i do agree that his job lets us see each other very easy. I just dont understand why he doesnt want to get a better job so that we can afford to get some where to live and build a life together? He also says he doesnt want to move to London (he lives up north) so theres a problem there. He has said before that he wants to be with me forever, so theres no doubt in the commitment area, as he does want to be with me. His mother has had thier house vauled,as i think its her way of trying to express that he needs to move out, and i think she agrees that at his age he really shouldnt still be living at home. (i think shes just scared to tell him!) I know that in every relationship you have to compromise- for example families- and he doesnt have much family and i have a huge family, but he just doesnt want to co operate with me whenever i bring up the whole moving/ buying subject and im unsure why? He cant live with his mother forever and cant stay in a crappy job- and i cant afford to live by myself when i do get myself going, so why is he being like this? Someone please give me some advice or tell me if youve been in the same situation!?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): so u were 15 and he was 24 wen use got 2gther.....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): Honestly, living with his mum at his age is quite pathetic, he sounds quite immature maybe thats another reason why he's dating you, quite younger as him. I thought the whole point of dating someone older that their more settled and know what they want! Anyway, just keep on him at him. But if he won't grow up then maybe you should move on. Gd luck!
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