A
female
age
36-40,
*IKI_9211
writes:i love this guy he is 28 and i am 20 we work in the same office he is very cute and everybody says he is very nice person. I love him a lot. I dont know weather he loves me or not. He had only one gf she died and he never made gf again. He never even had sex with anybody but when he met me i proposed him first he did not replied but we had good relation slowly he became very close and we had sex. That day he said he loves me but he never says he loves me on his on niether does he brings me gifts or anything. but he shows he cares by doing lunch with me or joking with me all day when somebody shouts at me he gets angry. A few days back I asked him if he loves me said yes but then somebody from the office told me he is going to get married. i messaged him same night if he didnt love me why he lied and i know he is going to get married and i dont want to see his face again he called me back but i did not replied it was a weekend so after the week end i was waiting for him to pick me for office but he didnt come and when i asked he said i told him that i didnt wanted to see his face. He saw me in office but did not talk to me and so did i. I dont know wheather he loves me or not!!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 As much as this man may want you, his mindset will always keep him from marrying you and (I suspect, though I'm not sure) will eventually push him into marrying someone else. I don't think there is much you can do about the situation.
It's time to recognize when you are up against something impossible and move on. It's not a nice situation, and it hurts a lot, but nothing can come of this situation EXCEPT hurt, and the sooner you get it over with the sooner you can move on to find someone who WILL be right for you.
Best wishes.
A
female
reader, NIKI_9211 +, writes (30 June 2008):
NIKI_9211 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice I went and talked to him he said he cant marry me because of his family actually we are from different countries but muslims. He is from a place where people get married in their nationality. Actually I also had problem from my family but I can convince them only if he says yes but he said he truely loves me but cant go against his family.I dont know what to do I cant leave office. i cant ignore him. I keep thinking about him. He is not getting married he said but then he said he cant marry me also. I dont know what to do. I told hima lie that I am leaving the office he didnt said directly but actually didnt wanted me to leave. He also said that if I will get married he will still be my friend and will sure be happy for me. but when I just imagin him with another female my blood goes hot I feel like killing everybody around me I love him very much I dont know what to do?
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (30 June 2008):
It sounds like you didn't really give him a chance to say if the rumor about him getting married was really true or not. You should have let him answer and explain before you said you never wanted to see him again. Doing that just because of a rumor seems to have gotten you in trouble.
Real love is based on trust. I'm not seeing a lot of trust here, on either side.
Both of you are playing games like children. If you really want this to work out between you, both of you have to stop doing that. Sit down and have a talk like grown up people. Talk about the issues between you, about the problems of trust, about the feelings you have.
If either or both of you can't do that, then it's time to give up on this relationship and move on to somebody new who can be a real soul mate to you. Don't waste your time on a relationship that has already been messed up so badly if the two of you aren't ready to fix it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): Love is a pretty strong word to be throwing about so casually....maybe we have a language barrier, but I don't see how he could love you after such brief encounters. He may be in lust with you, but that is probably mostly it, and he may be infatuated with you as you are him, but you both don't really know each other long enough to tell if you have real and lasting love.
You are behaving immaturely by believing a rumour and then messaging him instead of talking to him that you never want to see his face again, I think he is showing you he doesn't appreciate your childish behavior by calling your bluff. He may very well be getting married and that is why he has stopped with the I love you's, and if he is, you are right he has treated you too callously by having sex with you and telling you he loves you when he belongs to someone else....but ask him first, don't just assume that the rumour is true....however, most rumours do have some truth to them, he may at the very least have a girlfriend, so find out by talking to him....and then react accordingly. Good Luck.
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