A
female
age
51-59,
*icole1231
writes:I have been having a relationship with a married man for 5 yrs. I know he loves his wife and he won't leave her but he tells me at the same time he loves me very much and wants me and doesn't want to lose me.2 days back, we had an argument about our relationship mostly driven by my insecurities and some are from his behaviors of making me feel I am unworthy of him. The start of our conversations was about my feelings and I was telling him I may not be able to continue feeling like I am not totally loved. He was trying to divert our conversations by making a joke but I continued to pour out my sentiments and just told him what I feel. It was a feeling like it scares me that his love may not be real love (as he described it)but just out of a need.He keeps on telling me that our relationship is true and that it is an intense feelings we have for each other. What confuses me, why would he tell me he loves me so much and we are intense of each others feelings and yet, I felt from him that he is also scared that I may not be able to get out at any time in our relationship.When I was trying to tell him about how much I am hurting, why would he remind me again he loves me so much and yet, rub on my face and repeatedly asked me if I understood that if he has to make a choice between his wife and me, he would choose his wife.I don't understand the kind of relationship we have anymore but deep inside me, I know he is not honest with his feelings. How would you react if a married man tells you "I love you very much" and yet rubs on your face he will choose his wife if he has to make a choice?
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female
reader, nicole1231 +, writes (25 October 2011):
nicole1231 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys it helps a lot to vent out.
I need to move on now and you are all right with your comments. I know it will not be easy to forget someone who you really love but time will heal...
A
female
reader, misztoria  +, writes (24 October 2011):
 Dating a married man is NEVER a good idea unless they haven't been together for a very long time (years) and divorced papers are being filed. RUN! Run as fast as you can and get rid of this man before he hurts you anymore. He may have love for you, but if he would go back to his wife that easily then he isn't in love with you. Completely ignore any of his advances, change your number and anything else to avoid all contact with him. You will find someone else who will love you, just make sure he's not married.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2011): Ever heard the saying "what goes around comes around". You allowed yourself to be with a married man, putting his wife in an immense amount of pain. Maybe not now, but in the future, when she inevitably finds out. That was decided the minute you decided that even if he's married, you will continue a relationship. You put pain out into the world. And logically the only thing to come back would be pain. Therefore, you did this to yourself. Now, the man will get his fair share of pain too, when everyone he "loves" leaves him, but why should you continue with the pain when you've (hopefully) learned your lesson? Leave him, find a real, single man, and always remember what goes around comes around. And trust me, 99.9999999999999999999999999% of men would never leave their wives for their mistress. Even if they "loved" them.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 October 2011):
 I'd laugh in his face and say, "goodbye." Then I'd leave and cut him out of my life because I deserve so much better than that. That's what I would do. Then again, I'd never get involved with a married man. I deserve a guy who isn't a cheater and a guy who lies all the time. Life's too short to waste on users like that.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 October 2011):
 How would I feel?
I would feel used
I would feel lied to
I would feel manipulated
and I would get angry enough to leave if it was not providing me what i needed.
to be honest the person that is unworthy is him. He's a liar and a cheater.... what makes you think you are not worthy of his lying cheating self?
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