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*oneone
writes:Question: Does he really love me? i'm so confused, i cant talk to him about this as he wont talk about things, he gets angry,My partner says he loves me very much,we have been together on and off for 3 yrs but lived together 19 mths . Why can't he show me this love? or want to hold me love me with any passion and show me his affecton as much as i do him?its as if he only loves me for the person i am but not IN! love with me,he hugs and kisses me sometimes like you would a sister etche does not like me to drink or smoke i loved a smoke it kept me calm and he hardly ever lets me chose my own cloths,hardly a day goes by that he doesnt get a dig at me in some way he finds fault in me,in my hair,face or cloths in some way or other,yet he says im beautiful and pretty i dont understand it ,but i agree to it all because i love him so much,i dont understand his ways ,he has a dog he adores her he cant stop touching her,you can see the love he has for her,hes always stroking her,caressing her,if he is ever giving me a hug the dog comes over andalways stops this and gets his attention again! i love her too but,,he has the dog there sleeping with us,i love the dog lots but,,the dog is either watching us making love,sitting on the pillow licking his head,or laying next to him when we are making love,its so off putting having the dog staring at us,being there at times like this,it ruins the mood for me,we dont have any quality loving time to ourselfs,but he says "the dog was here first and he's not going to hurt her",its a dog! yet he will hurt me?im so,so confused! i mean my children were here before him but i love him a lot more its diffrent hes the first person ive ever loved,and would never want to put him second to anyone or anything!why does he not want to come home when hes been out and scoop me up when he sees me and show me his love,he always acknowledges the dog with hugs and shows her he loves her makes her feel special,why not me!or to make me feel as loved and wanted as i love and want him ,i crave his love and affection.he never wants us to go out together to the pub as a couple or partners,only to family gatherings,shopping etc,its like he does not want me to associate with anyone he knows,his friends in the pub or his old village,i dont know what it is but i get so lonely and feel on my own all the time,i work all week and still dont get asked out with him,even on my days and afternoon off,im so proud when we are out together,to show that we are a item but he isnt ,why?he tells me he has no more to give and that hes not a touchy feely person ,yet he is with the dog?and he must have been in his last relationship too as he took her out to the pub etc,loved her enough to ask her to marry him,made her feel loved and special to get engaged altho this ended. im so confused ,he says im a better person than her and better looking etc,so why cant he love me that way?what is it with me,why does he hold back with his love etc and not want to be seen with me in his local,he used to take me for a long time then it just stopped,why does he not want us to be a normal loving couple going out together etc,he can be so indifferent but then so caring and i dont understand,why has he not more affection or passion towards me and more so when we make love he wont kiss me at all and no forplay, then he hardly wants to and i feel if he can avoid it he will,but when we do make love its wonderful,the feelings are wonderful,so i cant understand why he doesnt want this moreor to be passionate its as if he doesnt want to do it at all there is no feelings from him towards me,yet he said i've given him the best feelings hes had,confused again? just for him to touch me is beautiful!he turns his head away if a go to kiss him and this hurts ,i love him so very much and it really hurts? Is it that he still loves his ex?I need some advice please!
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reader, adamantine  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 I'm sorry this is happening to you. Everyone wants affection.You're answering your own questions here, though. He is telling you all these things, all these words to make you feel better, but he is not SHOWING you. The best way to read someone is by their actions, not by their words. It shows you where they put all their care and effort. He obviously cares for his dog.You need to speak to him about this. If he doesn't begin to change, I would leave. Why? Well who wants to be in a relationship where they don't feel loved? I wouldn't, and I'm sure you don't either. You deserve a man who will show you his love in many ways, and make you feel like the only person in the world.Good luck.
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