A
female
age
51-59,
*ustmeandbailey
writes:Hi...well i will try to keep it brief i have been married for 10yrs together for 17yrs we have been separated for 10 weeks now was kind of a mutual spilt but i think he went on to see someone else...contact has been very limited...but over the last week he has been to see me twice..once to my work and was very sad saying we need to sort this mess out the next he came to the house and was very edgey and if was as if he wanted to sort things out but had something better to do that night...that was last thursday he said he would call me but hasnt since then....there have been lots of lies involved and i know he has been watching the house..i have not been involved with anyone else and am not ready for that...he was constantly looking and eyeing me up when he was here i have lost a lot of weight since i last saw him...im very confused i have never asked him to come home ever and have never suggested getting back together..i do love him but there were some problems in the marriage which had lead to the spilt...he says hes not coming back but ive never asked him???...and now all of a sudden hes been to see me twice in a week...is he confused?? is he scared?? what should i do...we have no kids but we do have a 16mth old dog which is his but is currently staying with me so i think he used the dog to come round here..im due to go on holiday in 5 weeks and now hes saying he will look after the dog and stay with him at my house???? he aint been near us for 9 weeks..im so confused what is he up too???...we have been spilt up before about 7yrs ago for 7 mnths...he seems to want the single life...personally i dont think he has a clue what hes doing he says he loves me but not in love with me??? i said this could have be sorted out with a bit of hard work he says you know me i just run away????...so any advice will be welcome...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): I have just been through the same thing only my husband is in ireland and i came back home to australia he said the same to me but wants me to leave the door open for him and mine happened overnight a lot of achohol involved on his part and mid life crisis but the problem is i still love him very much and have no idea how to cope with all this i have lost a stone in 2 weeks aqnd cant sleep. So I wish you well hope life turns out bright and rosie for you glad to know someone is in the same boat
Hugs to you
A
female
reader, justmeandbailey +, writes (4 May 2008):
justmeandbailey is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your prompt reply..yes i agree he is very confused about his feelings for me..i do beleive he loves me deeply but feels alot of guilt for what he has done since leaving the house...i do not chase or bother him..i need space and so does he..i think the other day could have been first meeting nerves and that is now out of the way...there is alot of water gone under the bridge and it will be very hard work to put it right and i think hes not in the right frame of mind to do that right now..so by coming around he wanted me to know he was still around i think hes frightened of what im going to say to him...but to be honest all he has to do is come and be honest with me but thats the hardest part for him..but i think in time he will...
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A
female
reader, WiccanWonder +, writes (4 May 2008):
 i think what he means by 'He loves you but he isnt in love with you' is that he cares for you deeply and loves you but not romantically... i think he may just be confused over how he feels about you, and is trying to convince you he isnt comming back when he still hasnt convinced himself?
I hope this helps,
Love & Hugs
good luck
Tasha x
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