A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently met this girl who I get on really well with but she has a boyfriend. We talk all the time nearly every day either in person or on the phone often for hours at a time. We socialise together as well. She knows I would like to be more than friends with her but we are good mates. Its just when ever we are together she tells her boyfriend she is with someone else, I don't think he treats her very well as he often puts her down and I think he is usinbg her. I am reall confused and unsure how to procede with my friendship as I would hate not to have her as a friend but it cuts me up when she is with her boyfriend and I don't always understand where she is coming from when we spend so much time talking and sometimes about quite personel things and socialise more than she does with him. Please can any one give me any advice on how to deal with this
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): It sounds to me like she needs to figure out what she wants. The two of you sound like you get on, but I can't speculate on how well she gets on with her boyfriend. She needs to sort out her relationship with him, one way or the other. It's great that you are there as a friend, but don't complicate matters by getting too emotionally involved. You will make life difficult for yourself and for her and her partner. Perhaps some distance between the 2 of you could be used by her to help her deal with her boyfriend and move on with her life, either with him, or without him.
A
female
reader, rachhbabes +, writes (4 May 2008):
i have very much been in this situation in a way. i was on the phone with a boy for two hours every night and we flirted so much it was unbelievable and he had a girlfriend. he told me that he did have feelings for me though and eventually he broke up with his girlfriend.
maybe you should leave it a bit and just see what happens but try to build up an even stronger friendship with her before you say or do anything about it :)
hope everything goes well, good luck.
x
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