A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend (together for nearly two years) always tells me he loves me. yet his actions say otherwise to me. for example, (we only see each other most weekends) but when we spend the time together, he hardly cuddles me or cosy up, i try but unless i pull his arm around me he will quite happily sit apart. if we go out together we walk seperate, no hand holding or even linking arms, i have also tried but i feel it that he feels uncomfortable doing so. when we talk its almost always about serious issues or serious stuff, i try to joke on and keep the conversation light at times but get nowhere.whats up here? is it me just looking for things? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 October 2009):
When a guy likes a woman, generally it takes lot for him not to be touching her moment! Actions actually say more than words ever could. Do you want to be in a cold relationship? Or would you be better leaving him and finding a man who will cuddle up to you? Think about that very carefully.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (11 October 2009):
Actions are always much better to judge on.
Any idiot can say "I love you" - all the men that beat their partners half to death always say they love them afterwards.
If he's not happy being with you then he's not happy being with you.
He may be fond of your company and he may like being able to tell people he has a girlfriend, but that doesn't mean he's the right guy for you.
Ask him if he'd be happier being friends and tell him you want a man who wants to spend time with you and touch you and love you.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (11 October 2009):
 No. You're not looking for things.
You need to sit down with him and ask him to open up to you. It seems you want physical intimacy that involves more than just sex. You want him to be warm, close and physically affectionate towards you.
You also want to hear about the things that interest him, that he enjoys; you want to share his life with him, and I am guessing you want him to share your life with you too.
Part of the problem here is that what you're missing is that emotional intimacy that includes the physical touching part.
Its hard to describe but from what you're saying, he only wants to talk about serious things when you want him to be playful and affectionate too. Why so serious? Love's supposed to be fun too you know. That's why people grow together and achieve happiness as a couple.
If he can't mature into a physical touchy-feely and emotionally open relationship towards you, then you're missing that certain level of trust and emotional joy that goes with sharing yourself with someone else.
That's what you're missing. Perhaps you should ask him about it and tell him it is serious to you. As in these are part of your needs as a woman. That's all.
Its entirely possible that he's got one of those situations where he's just happy having you around, but to me that's like hanging a trophy on a mantle. You're a human being not an inanimate object in his life.
So its going to take some work on both of your parts.
Whatever it is, he needs to open up to you and tell you why he feels "creepy" touching you and being affectionate and open with you.
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