A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy on a dating App about a month ago. We hit it off well - he seemed sweet and respectful. We met and there was a lot of sparks and chemistry. We both have complicated relationship statuses - he's divorced with a child from the marriage and has an ex with whom he has another child. He was upfront about it when he met me. His parents stay where I stay and he visits often (that's where we met) while he lives in another country - halfway across the world.While he was here, we met four times and every time was just magical. We were so into each other and ended up making love twice - it was very. very wonderful. He kept telling me that he's in love with me and I kept brushing him off saying that it's insane. He was very excited that I would be traveling to his country after two months and said that he would come and see me. He kept talking about taking a vacation together and how he'd love to see me.After he went back, we kept in touch, exchanging mushy messages. At some point I told him that I'm falling for him. After a few weeks, his messages got infrequent. And he stopped responding to my texts. One in a while, he'd say that he's sorry and has been very busy. And then he'll add something about wanting to meet me etc. I had told him explicitly that I don't expect anything to come out from this but have really enjoyed our time together. But he kept insisting that it is more than just a fling.I do care about him and I do dream of a future with him. But I'm also pragmatic and realise that it's just wishful thinking and it will never work out. I'm happy to meet him again even it means that it is a fling with physical intimacy and nothing more. But I just need clarity.His lack of response and communication is driving me up the wall. If he says it's over or it's difficult for him to engage, I understand that. For a moment, I did think that he is the one but I also realise that any relationship has give and take and requires nurturing and work.Sometimes I feel like calling him up and confronting him. And then I think I should just let go and ignore him. And then I think I should just write him a text saying that I need to move on, it's over (whatever "it" was), he's special to me but I don't see any future here and end it.I'm going crazy! What do I do?This thing is taking up too
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2019): OP, you had SEX with this virtual stranger much too soon. These are the consequences of your bad decision.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (9 May 2019):
 Look at his background. 2 kids with two different women, and he wasn't even married to one of them. What's he doing on a dating app? Shouldn't someone in his shoes be looking to sort out his life instead of getting yet someone else pregnant?
I honestly don't understand what you see in him! I'm sure he's a charmer, hence the two exes, but nothing about him really sounds like long-term relationship material. Make that long distance relationship material!
What exactly do you need clarity on? He's not someone you can trust and you know it. Don't get into something this messy which you know is doomed to fail.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2019): You keep telling him its insane and then you wonder why he isnt that into you.Even if it were the magic from heaven you have reacted with mixed messages and he is now doing the same.If the beginning isnt straightforward then neither of you privately see any future in this, but both of you have enjoyed a passionate interlude.Now he's driving you crazy by backing of?He's listened to you and tasted you and technically put you back on the shelf.Be glad of the romance.Be realistic about the practicalities.Stop calling because you are playing hot and cold.You Do love him But you are miles away, the fling was a fling, you are a bit crazy and you need to step back a bit.Bad beginning, messy middle.Maybe hope for a peaceful end and reclaim your sanity.Its not a choice.Its a reality.Round over and time out!Let him have the regrets while you move on!
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (9 May 2019):
 Yes, there’s no future here you’re spot on.
Block him and move on. My guess would be he’s looking for someone to hook up with in the same town as where his parents live, how very convenient! If he wanted to make the effort he would do. No one can fall in love in that period, you’re right, it is insane! It’s also a HUGE red flag of someone either with commitment issues or a player who’s trying to get you hooked fast.
You feel for his charm, but you now have the option to accept that and move on, will you take it?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2019): It’s great you met someone and had a great time.
Nowadays, it’s very easy to communicate and yes lives get busy but we always make time for those we like/love. His lack of communication tells me he’s not that interested. Most men are the persuers, they want something they go for it. In the meantime keep yourself busy. If nothing more happens at least you’ll have a good memory.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2019): Two kids with 2 different women? Red flag! OP, my honest opinion is that he did have a fling with you, it was just a fun escape, and now he's gone back to his real life. It's highly likely he is married or has a steady girlfriend. It might still be one of the baby momma's. He throws you crumbs to keep you sweet in case he feels like fucking next time he's in town.
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