A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So, I've been kind of seeing this guy for about a month now. We hang out a lot, call each other and text. We haven't told anyone about our "seeing eachother" status, except a couple of my friends know. We haven't had "the talk" yet, where we confirm being exclusive but we did have somewhat of a little chat about it. I asked him where he thought this was headed and if we should mention it to people. He said he had to think about things, and I was caught off guard. I know he hasn't had a "girlfriend" in a really long time and he's not the type to. He usually just have flings that last about a weekend (if you know what I mean) but this has lasted almost 2 months. I didn't really know what to say when he said he had to think about things because.. I mean, what does he really have to think about? So, I asked him, what kinds of things? He said it's not like he has another girl on the side, he just has to think about it because he's not really used to having a girlfriend. We haven't really talked about it since.. I don't know if I should bring it up again, maybe he hasn't thought about it yet? I don't really want to wait for him though, I'm worried I might be wasting my time. What should I do?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 November 2008):
 Some guys want to keep their 'freedom' and just can't get comfortable with that change in status. The really insecure or easily influenced ones can't manage to get into a relationship because they get too much grief from their male friends. Others just want to be permanently single but will keep a girl on a string for a while.
And a few just need time to accustom themselves to becoming an actual boyfriend. There's a lot of expectations of a boyfriend and you have to weigh the risk/reward ratio.
Just decide how long you can stand this uncertain status. And please don't take yourself off the market until you have a real commitment from him. So that way, you're not really wasting your time, and he'll have to decide to make it exclusive if he doesn't want to see you date other guys.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (25 November 2008):
 Until a boy reaches about 25 years old, there isn't much you can expect from them as far as committed relationships are concerned.
Not a great analogy but boys are like cake in a way. Its not cake until its been in the oven for the full amount of time.
Boys require a lot of time before them become men. And girls need patience during the process.
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