A
female
age
36-40,
*ellz
writes:I am 19 and have been with my same age boyfriend for a year. We had a thing four years ago when relationships didn't really matter. I emotionally cheated on him and broke up with him for this other guy. He loved me and I pretty much broke his heart. Four years later we decided to give it another go but he has serious trust issues. Also doesn't help that for the start of our relationship I lied a lot for no reason.Now I have stopped lying and have been saying I love him for about 6 months, which I do, he's everything to me and I believe we would make a great future. Problem is he says he doesn't trust me and therefore doesn't believe that I love him and most importantly he doesn't love me. He says that because I told my last two boyfriends that I love them and then realised love was more than what I said afterwards that this was happening again with him, which it isn't!We have a fantastic relationship but I don't know what to do. He's obviously scared that I will hurt him again because he liked me all of those four years since. But it's killing me him not loving me. Any ideas?
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female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (13 July 2007):
If he does not love you then why is he with you ? If he didnt love you i cant see why he would be botherd about trust, surely he just wouldnt care. Yes the lieing was a really bad idea, i would not trust a person who lied to me. But your relationship is not going to work if he doesnt give you a chance. Talk to him and figure out what its going to be, try and make it work or try to move on.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 July 2007):
 I'm not sure if I understand your relationship.
a) Your boyfriend says he doesn't trust you, and he doesn't believe you love him, but he's still with you
b) Anyways, you define the relationship as "fantastic".
c) He doesn't believe you love him because you told your last two boyfriends that you loved them, too.
d) You want to know what to do about a man who doesn't trust you and doesn't believe you love him.
I think that the one advice I can give is that the two of you need to think carefully about what your relationship really is. I don't think it is love.
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