A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 23 years old and I've been dating my boyfriend since we were both 17 and in highschool together. We've always had this great, trusting and loving relationship with each other. So far, we've managed to survive all the odds against us: We spent a year away from each other at separate colleges. Then we spent two years living together at the same college. Everything has seemed to work out fine.About a year ago, I became very uncertain about our relationship and had doubts over whether or not I wanted to be with him forever. I found emotional comfort in our mutual best (male) friend, and the friend fell in love with me. My boyfriend found out that I was secretly hanging out with the friend and, naturally, was extremely depressed. While my relationship with the friend was not physical, it was emotional. My boyfriend and I talked and I found that I had an epiphany-like moment and realized how much I loved my boyfriend. The year passed well and our relationship seemed better than ever. We hang out constantly, our sex lives have never been better, and we RARELY if ever fight. I've been planning my future out recently (buying a car, applying for graduate schools, etc) and naturally have to include him in every decision I make because I want to be with him. Yet, out of the blue, he told me the cliche "I love you, but I'm no longer in love with you" and that he has felt like this since the friend incident happened last year.He told me he wanted to break up, but the very next day said he wanted to try to make it work. I agreed, because we DO have an amazing relationship (which he agrees, as well). It's been two weeks, and he doesn't treat me any different. We still cuddle, hang out, have sex, laugh together, the whole "perfect relationship" thing. I'm beyond heartbroken, and I don't know what to do. Is he just scared about the future? Or did he lose something irreplaceable when I "emotionally cheated" on him? Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): When u find an answer ... temme abt it too.... exactly the same situation here....except u guys are still together and we are on a 'break' trying to figure things out.
dnt wry u guys are going to be fine...
if u wanna talk... email me... [email address blocked]
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): hey i wrote ur first answer.. if thats his reply to u, then i reckon he does love you, maybe hes saying things so that you wont move far away from him,maybe he feel threatend so hes prepared to say anything in order fr you to be 'his'.. i under stand how u must bee feeling 3 years is a very long time..lots of good times and obviously youve both imagined your future together...ask him again about his 'love' comment..if his answer remains the same..ask your self if your happy with the reply..if not..time for a break..a month..maybe with guidlines and set rules..so non of you cheat? if u feel that after a month you can make do without him..then maybe u can reconsider where you wanna take your relationship...once again god bless n good luck:) x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2007): I asked him that already, actually.
When I had doubts about him, I'd think to myself, "Would I be jealous if he was with someone else?" The answer was a big Yes.
So I asked him the same thing. He said he wouldn't want me with anyone else but him....
So confusing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2007): guys are confusing! .. well, firstly, are you going to settle with that comment he made?...to me that comment suggests he loves you, but not girlfriend/boyfriend kinda way, its probably deeper than that..like a less 'in your face would do anything crazy for you love' but is this what you want?
on the other hand you say your relationship is great? i dont understand why it is wrong to have an emotional connection with someone else, i belive you can find a soulmate in so many people close to you.
maybe your boyfriend needs to figure out what he wants and maybe even reprioratize, if he left you..would he be able to handle you being with someone else, if the answer is no, and he wants u and u all to himself...surley dis is the 'crazy i would do anything for you' kind of love..i hope i make sense to you, ask him whether he can see you with someone else, and if he would be able to handle it, ask him if hee neeeds a break, ask him what he meant..most of all..get on with your career focus on yourself give your self sum 'i' time and not always 'we'...god bless x
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