A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I date this guy for about 7 months. He broke up with me in February because he's very busy with work and wasn't able to fully commit to me because of that. I was still very much in love with him and wanted to get back with him however he wouldn't take me back. I was going through a lot of issues at that time my friend had passed away and my dad was having surgery and I really needed him and he wasn't there for me. After that I said some really nasty things because I was so hurt by him. I apologized soon after because I felt horrible about it however he wouldn't forgive me and he didn't talk to me for 2 months. Then randomly he texted one night saying how much he missed me, was thinking of me and wanted to meet up. We met up twice but since then he goes back and forth about whether he wants to be with me or not. Last week he told me he wanted to work things out and keep trying but this week he's telling me that he doesn't have the time for a girlfriend and doesn't want to work things out. All my friends tell me to move on and I want to but I'm still so in love with him and really want to be with him so I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2011): I suggest you back off and tell him to contact you when he has made his mind up what he wants, instead of swinging back and forth at your expense. Then if he comes to you it will be because he is ready to commit and not because you tried to force him.
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (21 May 2011):
 you're totally letting this guy push you around and dictate the course of the relationship. take some power back. stop sitting around and waiting on this guy. first, let me point out, this guy wasn't too busy to be with you. that's a cop out. i could have two jobs and be a full time student and still find time for someone i love if i so choose. when you care enough about something, you make/find the time. you know that. if i were you, i'd dump this guy. move on. but if you're not ready for that, then i'd at least start having some dignity and stop putting up with the crap.
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A
female
reader, miso32 +, writes (21 May 2011):
Rip the Band Aid off. I know it will hurt terribly. But you already have the answer in your heart. He wasn't man enough to be there for you when you were going through a very difficult time - not even as your friend. If you let him every time he comes knocking, your self respect will continue to erode. Don't waste time with this man. Deal with the pain of loss and then when your ready find love with someone who will stand by you through thick and thin.
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