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He says he doesn't care but then he flips about me and his friend! He makes no sense! Advice?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends, Long distance, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 February 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 February 2014)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I met this boy Last October (2012) when I went on a trip (1 hr and a half from where I live - a ski town). We added each other on facebook and got each others phone numbers but we didnt start hanging out until I went up there again in February and that was kind of the beginning of it all.

He ended up moving down to where I was for school for one semester and we would hang out a few times together and on the weekends when I went to that ski town (he would head up there every weekend). I ended up really liking him because he would text me literally every single day from right in the morning till the evening. I learned a lot about him and him about me.

We've kissed and all but we've never actually spoken about feelings (we're both pretty prideful). Then one weekend when I went up with my friend in April, an "incident" happened. He was at the bar and I was waiting for him but some guy came up to say hi to me and he turned around and walked away. I was so mad at him for just leaving me that when he came up to me I didnt really say much to him and then he decided to just drop his beer bottle by my leg almost cutting me. We ended up getting over this incident as he was really drunk, and hung out a few more times back home at starbucks and mall etc. but everything had kind of changed. we didn't exactly have that same confidence with each other and I started to see how he was kind of an arrogant asshole at times.

We still texted sometimes but we drifted. We would still hang out when I would go back up to ski town (he had moved back in June) I ended up meeting one of his friends (frenemy, they were always competing) and he wasn't exactly happy that we would text. Anyways, I started getting into this guy (I think i was trying to use him to get over my original boy) but I ended up realizing I did not care about him (we did hook up though) but we never told "original boy".

Then this august we stopped talking and texting and seeing each other when I would go up to ski town and I wouldn't text him when I was up there because I knew I needed to get over him. It was unhealthy (he has yelled at me before and acted like an asshole when he was in a bad mood even though I know he cared for me). We spoke once about how it wouldn't and couldnt really happen because I lived down here and he lived up there and neither of us were going to compromise and move.

Then in November when I was up there, I met one of his friends (he was not there and I didnt know how close they were or anything really about their friendship) and I hung out with him and ended up sleeping with him. when he texted me the next day (original boy) I had told him that I was really drunk and he said yah he thought I was because he was quite shocked to hear that (he knows I don't sleep around and I've never even slept with him or done anything really with him after this back and forth thing through the entire year). Then last month, I was up there again and I ran into that same friend (that I had slept with) and original boy. they were together at the pub. This was the first time i've seen original boy in the past 5 n half months. he laughed off how I was with his friend saying "why him, you could have anyone else here, hes so greasy." I told him I was really drunk and that it was a mistake and I spologized and he told me I dont need too because he doesnt care. we spoke again about how we could never happen because of where we lived. I thought we ended up with having an understanding that we were just completely over, aside from the fact that its been almost half a year. I ended up leaving with the friend again and sleeping with him again. I then started receiving texts from original guy calling me a slut and saying mistakes dont happen twice etc. he also was texting his friend telling him to leave me right now or their friendship is over etc. he didnt leave me and we spent the night. 2 days later I started getting texts from him again telling me that hes not mad but that hes done with both of us because were both full of shit. and that he never cared and how he was going to leave with me but i ended up leaving with his friend, but then it worked out well because he dodged a bullet, etc. I don't understand him, he is contradicting himself. I know I need to get past this and that it is unhealthy but I still care so much for him, but I am going to try to forget about us. I need to be over it. What do you guys think? I just do not understand him. I am going up there again this weekend and I am nervous to run into him. I don't want him name-calling me or any confrontation. I am pretty sure he is fine with his friend now (this is a party town and would look so lame for him to ditch a friend because of a girl) but I know he hates me. Sorry for the long essay guys! Any thoughts?

he tells me he doesnt care and laughed off the first time when I slept with his friend. But then the next time when were all up there he flips out. He makes absolutely no sense and drives me insane. It probably wasn't the best decision to be with his friend again but I'm not a plaything to wait around for him and continue this cycle.

View related questions: confidence, drunk, facebook, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you ladies, I really needed to hear this. I feel a lot stronger about possibly running into him this upcoming weekend

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2014):

hunny the only thing he cares and is angry about is that ur not sringed on his little finger now. hes selfish and a stupid person, who really does not deserve ur time! avoid him at all costs, erase him from ur life.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (4 February 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony aunthe's just an arrogant asshole like you said.

what he thinks does not matter and just ignore his stupidity.

if you like the mutual friend and want to hang out and hook up with him, that's your choice and what some idiot you barely know thinks should not matter.

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