A
female
age
41-50,
*atientlyWaiting1
writes:Some may be familiar with my situation, some may not. Long story short, was with my ex and we broke up said I nagged and complained. He got another girlfriend then he and I came back together. We are communicating again and both still care for each other, he has not given her up. He is willing to see if things progress with us again, however, today he told me he feels he can't trust me, I am too back and forth with my feelings for him, he does not feel I have his back and if it came down to it he does not feel I would do whatever it took to be there for him in any given situation. He has a very high profile career and feels as though I do not care about his career as much as he does.I feel like this situation is killing me. I love him I do but it is hard to be there 100% for someone who still has a girlfriend. I want him to let her go, but I know he will not especially with him not trusting me. Any tips on how to show him I am there for him? Real tips please. I know this is not the conventional situation to be in. But it is what it is at the moment. I have left him a number of times during our relationship and after. I have a problem with not being able to work out problems. Now another woman is with him. What to do?
View related questions:
broke up, has a girlfriend, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): Were you wrong to leave him each of the times you left him in the past and can you guarantee that you won't leave him again?If so then communicate to him what you did wrong each one of those times (it might be a long list) and demonostrate with actions that you have changed. If you don't do this then you might leave him again which means that he's right: your emotions are too volatile for him to be comfortable with and if you do care for him, you'll accept that about him and leave him be.It's sad but it's true: either you care for him, which means you won't bring the risk of emotional flare-up or break-up close to him or you might do that, which means you don't make his feelings a priority, in which case he's right to stay away.
A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (6 November 2010):
 Trust is one of the most important keys of a healthy relationship, along with honesty and communication. You can't "make" someone trust you. All you can do is earn trust by not giving him any reason not to!
Petinal hit it dead on! You are strong enough not to tolerate the situation of another woman.
Stand by your convictions and never settle!
Good Luck!
~BG~
...............................
A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (5 November 2010):
PatientlyWaiting1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you petina. Your response was great. I will do what you suggested.
...............................
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Explore in depth, the reasons why you broke up. Make a list of all the things he says you 'nagged him about' See if you have a valid reason for these complaints. He may just want a woman who puts up and shuts up. Obviously you know your own mind, you love him but because you had complaints you were willing to sort problems out or at least tackle them. He may feel threatened by a strong woman like you. Ask yourself this 'do you want a weak man?' Don't take him on until he does end the relationship with the girl who seems to be compliant. Don't settle for second best no matter how you feel about him. Good Luck
...............................
|
