A
female
age
30-35,
*ercedes_Williams
writes:I'm feeling so confused...I was in a relationship for the past two years. We had loads of problems, it was the kind of relationship people knew was not going to last, but we loved each other so much... However, our disagreements took their toll on us and we drifted apart. So... I met this guy at work, R.A. He is gorgeous, charming, and we started flirting. At the time, we were both dating - he's been with his gf for 10 years. One day, he gave me a lift home and we kissed. Things started heating up over the week, so i decided to end things with my bf... we were on deep crisis, but i couldn't go on cheating.I was so cautious with R.A., told him it was only an affair, that i would never want anything serious with him, and that we had to keep it that way, because of his gf. I never did anything of that sort, i was, and am, so lost...After a couple days, he told me he couldn't go on - he felt his gf didn't deserve it, that their relationship was stable and he didn't want to change that.At first, i was ok. I told him no hard feelings and that was that.However, on friday he brought me chocolate and told me he never forgot about me, so I got confused...Falling for him is out of question, but he did left me intrigued!I gave him a chocolate today in retribution and he whispered something that i didn't quite hear, only the last silable... in my language, i suspect it could be either "crazy gal" (in a bad way) or "oh boy"i feel like tomorrow i should pull away from him and see what happens... but i don't know!and to top that off, my ex want to get back together and keeps promissing a world of changes...please, help?
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female
reader, Sensible Alice  +, writes (2 April 2014):
 If this guy cared and wanted to be with you, he'd ditch his girlfriend to give the both of you a chance. Does he just want an affair? Do you? Do you want to continue to be the other woman? What happens when his girlfriend finds out? Are you ready for the possibility that you will lose your good name and credibility because of this? Are you ready to be pointed at and talked about as the woman that broke up so and so's relationship? Is he worth all that? If you want a chance with this guy then he has to give you that chance - by giving you all of himself, not just stolen moments, flowers and empty promises. You deserve more. Demand it. If he won't give it then walk away.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 April 2014):
 What a chaotic existence. You must love all this drama and intrigue. You know, the company you keep says a lot about the kind of person you are.
OP, this is a no brainer.
Your ex boyfriend is an ex for a reason. He's not a good match. You two clearly do not bring out the best in one another. Getting back together will just lead to more of the same nonsense.
And RA is not a decent guy. He might be nice to look at, but his beauty is only skin deep. He has no intention of letting his girlfriend go so she can find someone better and he has no problem stringing you along and sending you mixed messages. Of course he didn't forget you. This all just happened and you work with him. he sees you every day.
OP, when you look in the mirror, do you like what you see? Do you like who you are? Are you proud of the reputation you have earned for yourself? Do you like the way you treat others?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2014): I feel it's never a good idea to be the other woman. What goes around, comes around. Please don't engage in an affair or be be the type of person that may cause couples to break apart.
It will be very hard for his girlfriend when she finds out that he cheated. Just go to countless forums on this website and see how crushing heartbreak is. Do you really want to live with that guilt?
If you just want something causal, there are tons of guys out there with the same mindset and priorities. He already knows that it's bad idea to cheat on his girlfriend.
Don't encourage him anymore.
How would you feel if tomorrow you are virtually married to a guy (yes 10 yr(s) is a long time and this girl knowingly entices him to her bed). Where would that leave you and your feelings ?
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